VA Earthquake Felt In Wake Forest, NC

Did anyone else feel that one?  When it rumbled through, mom and I were eating a late lunch and I was on the phone with my sister, Laura.  I said something I won't repeat but was, "What the **** was that?"  Our house was shaking and felt like the whole house was actually moving.  It shook pretty good, scared the heck out of both of us.

Crazy thoughts were running through my mind... did a plane or vehicle hit the house, was a twister coming through, what was happening?? Mom says, "That felt like an earthquake!"

Laura said it was probably just the guys tearing up the road in front of her house, which is just a few houses down from us.  I didn't think it was... not movement like this. But her house didn't shake, she hadn't witnessed what we did.

Then my sister called back and told us she heard there was a quake in VA.

That's pretty confusing and real scary when you have never been through an earthquake and live in area that is not known for them.  You stand still because it happens so fast and you don't know what to do because you don't know what is causing it.  You're just waiting for something to show itself so you know how to react.

Wow, what an experience... not something I'll likely forget.

Family Photos

Mom borrowed some family photos taken at our Frisbee Family Reunions. (Click on photos to view larger images.)

In Memory of Sassy - April 25, 2011

Back at the end of April mom had to put her Boxer, Sassy, down.  She started to throw up blood clots and we knew it was going to be pretty bad.  She was full of cancer.

 

 

 

Cancer Recurrence: 2nd Round of Chemo

I went in yesterday thinking I wouldn't be allowed to have chemo because I had been so sick, but weirdly enough, my counts were excellent, liver and kidneys very good... I think it was my liver that she said was better this time than last.  Go figure, I guess chemo does agree with me.  *lol*  I chalk it up to God and all the prayers being sent on my behalf.

So I had my second round yesterday.  Mom was able to go in and sit with me this time since flu season is "technically" over.  I am doing much better, still dealing with the coughing and chest congestion.  For some reason, every morning around 4 am, I go into a coughing jag.  I'm glad to be coughing that crap up out of my lungs, but it definitely puts a crimp in my sleeping time.

I'm in new territory now, last time I only had the one round of chemo, then I moved here to NC and my new doctor stopped it.


**SPECIAL REQUEST**
from all my Blog and Facebook friends and family

Back in the beginning of January, an old high school classmate sent me a message on Facebook.  He had seen my post about the cancer recurrence, he told me about his wife's cancer and said he'd keep me in his prayers.  He was writing me from his wife's hospital room where she was receiving radiation treatments for brain tumors they had recently found.  I haven't seen or talked to him since high school, I had some classes with him but didn't really hang out with him; I find it amazing how something like this can cause others to reach out for whatever reasons and it really touched my heart.  He's posted a few comments of support, well wishes and prayers.  Since I've been so tired and then sick, I hadn't really been on Facebook, not that I was ever on very much before all this, but I was wondering about him and how his wife was doing.  Tonight I happened to check out his page before I sent a message to see if any updates were posted and saw that his wife had passed.  I would like to request prayers for him in this period of loss and grief.  Since you all have been so amazing and supportive for me and it has meant so much... I am hoping that your swell of support and prayers would help him through this awful time.  *Since he contacted me privately, I wish to respect his privacy and not identify him by name.  Some of my high school Facebook friends may know him and this situation. I know he'll see this post and any support/prayer comments left in regard to him.*

I want to thank all my little online "angels".  Hugs and kisses to all!  Most of all I want to thank you, Lord, for being my true rock.

Prayer Quilt

This is a Prayer Quilt, made and prayed over by some wonderful ladies from the Faith Baptist Church in Youngsville, NC.  Thank you, ladies.

http://www.faithnc.org/

Cancer Recurrence: What's Been Going On

I know it's been a few weeks since I last blogged, but I've been really tired.  It's hard doing chemo and work.

I had my first chemo session on Friday, March 18th. I was nauseous over the weekend. The prednisone makes me sick to my stomach, but I have to take 5 pills (at one time) every day for 5 days after my chemo.  At first I didn't think to take the other pills they gave me... the ones to fight the nausea... but when I did, all was well.

I was notified that I was approved by Merck for the ACT program, which helps pay for meds if you qualify.  They're going to cover my Neulasta shots I need after my chemo.  It helps boost my immune system so I don't get sick or infections as easily.  The shot runs about $7000. a pop.  I have to get one every three weeks on the Monday after my chemo.  I also qualified for my Aloxi med through the Eisai Patient Assistant Program.  This will be a tremendous help also.  My Limited Benefit Plan health insurance through the temp agency doesn't cover any of my chemotherapy.  At this point, I've maxed out about all my coverage for everything else.  REX Hospital qualified me for their Assistance Program, so that's another HUGE help.  I still owe several thousand dollars for surgeons, anesthesiology, labs, and such; also, I'm still waiting for bills to come through for a lot of services that didn't initially have my insurance info.

I had to have blood work done on Monday, March 28th, to check my counts... they were so good they had to call and tell me how good they were... she said I should do chemo more often.  *lol*

On Thursday, March 31st, my hair started loosening and coming out.



YouTube Video of hair coming out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ7HcmvHubA


On Friday, April 1st, my sister came to cut my hair. A guy I work with said when his mother had chemo, she cut her hair short and it didn't all fall out. I don't know if her chemo was as harsh as mine, but it was worth a try.

Here's little bits of video of my sister, Laura, cutting my hair. (The video is not the greatest, I learned to not let my mom run the digital video recorder)



YouTube Video of my sister cutting my hair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYKXA1NvG_0


On Saturday morning I got sick... I got up, had a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin Laura had brought me the night before.  Within a half hour to 45 minutes, all hell broke loose. I don't ever remember being this sick. I was power vomiting and had severe diarhea, and I couldn't get either to stop. My temperature was 101.3 degrees. I couldn't keep meds down or liquids. I called my doctor and she told me to try to get the nausea medicine down, she said she would call in some antibiotics, but I wasn't sure if it was an infection, virus, or just a bad muffin... my first thought was food poisoning or bad blueberries in the muffin. After about two hours things really hadn't changed much except my temperature went up to 102 degrees. So I called her back and asked her to call in the antibiotics. She was thinking that maybe I should be admitted into the hospital, but I told her I wanted to wait until morning to see if there is any change. It took everything I had to keep those meds down so they could get into my system. Finally the nausea meds started kicking in and I was able to start keeping liquids down. I was much better by morning but still in pretty bad shape. I didn't go to work Monday or today.

On Sunday, I got in the shower and so much hair was falling out it clogged up the drain. So mom shaved my head.

How's that for a noggin!

I'm supposed to have another round of chemo this Friday, don't know if they will let me since I've been sick and can't shake this fever.  We'll see.

Cancer Recurrence: Surgery For Port Placement

Surgery didn't go as well as anticipated. Evidently, under sedation, I was thrashing and moving about too much and wouldn't keep my head and neck in position for him to insert the line... he had to put me completely out. Of course, I have no recollection of this, which is odd because last time I was aware and talking (although I did try to nap a few times and woke myself up snoring).  This time, all I remember is being wheeled in, looking around, and thinking it looked like a big storage room... then people yelling at me to wake up.  This caused the surgery to last longer, they had to put a tube down my throat, I was in recovery longer, and the anesthesia made me dizzy and nauseated.

I'm in a lot of pain and I can't drive on the pain meds, so I'm going to try some Nuprin or Tylenol to see if I can get away with that instead. So far this is the worst of what I've gone thru. This is worse than the bone marrow biopsy. It freakin' hurts! And it's sore, like majorly bruised sore. I feel like I was in a car wreck, or got shot, or something.

"Harry's Law"

If you're not watching this show... you're missing a darn good one!  It's a drama with humor, sarcasm, heart and she's says the stuff we all say in our heads but never out loud.  I realize it's on late for a lot of folks, but it's worth watching.  Also, they have been running it again on weekends.  I've seen it on Saturday and Sunday nights.

Harry's Law - w/Kathy Bates
NBC
Monday @ 10 PM


Also at Hulu.com: http://www.hulu.com/harrys-law

Cancer Recurrance: New Schedule of Appts

I saw the surgeon, Dr. Eddleman, on Thursday, he doesn't do arm ports.  He said they are more prone to problems like blood clots.  I explained the debacle with the last port they TRIED to place in my chest, he wasn't sure why they tried placing it so low.  He showed me were he would place it.  He told me if I felt more comfortable with an arm port, he would refer me to someone that does it and assured me he wouldn't be offended.  After talking with him about it and with such the great surgery he did for my biopsy, I agreed to do it his way.  Granted, I'm a little nervous about doing this after the last time, and I really don't need one more scar on my chest... but I have faith in him and I trust him.

Here is my latest schedule of appointments.

MON, Mar 7
12 PM
Pre-Surgery Testing
REX Hospital

TUE, Mar 8
7:15 AM
Surgery to place Portacath
Dr. Eddleman

FRI, Mar 11
9 AM
Results & Discussion – Set up treatment
Dr. Olajide

THU, Mar 17
1 PM
Post-Surgical Checkup
Dr. Eddleman

A Cause For Concern: A Presidentional Dereliction Of Duty?

This should be a cause for concern for every American, this isn't a Left vs Right or Liberal vs Conservative... this is a dereliction of duty!  You don't get to pick and choose which laws to defend.  If a president fails to defend any law, then I'd say that's an impeachable offense!

From the Family Research Council
Tony Perkins' - WASHINGTON UPDATE

Holder Right There Obama, FRC's Got a Question...

Last week, I shared with you our concern that President Obama is ignoring his responsibilities as President and refusing to defend the Defense of Marriage Act in federal court. But what's even more troubling about the situation is how quickly litigants trying to overturn Proposition 8 in California filed a "Motion to Vacate Stay" in the Ninth Circuit after Attorney General Eric Holder announced that DOMA would be left undefended.  Within just a few hours of the DOJ's statement, Ted Olson's team filed a 23-page document that quoted from the Attorney General's letter twice.

The mainstream media may not give this "coincidence" a second thought, but to FRC, this lightning-fast citation of the letter into a major judicial document is highly suspicious. Our concern is that the Department of Justice has been collaborating with the litigants in the Proposition 8 case behind the scenes, so FRC sent a letter to the DOJ asking for record of all correspondence between DOJ and opponents of Prop 8 in the last month. If there is a quiet partnership, the alliance would be both unethical and highly damaging to America 's rule of law.

Regardless of your political leanings, it should be obvious that a Department of Justice that collaborates with opponents of federal law to strike it down is clearly an example of a political system run amok. DOJ's job is to defend laws that Congress enacts--not help to undermine them. To read FRC's letter to the Department of Justice, click here.

http://www.frc.org/washingtonupdate/holder-right-there-obama-frcs-got-a-question

Cancer Recurrence: Bone Marrow Biopsy

I had my second PET scan on Monday... it went well.  Then today I had my bone marrow biopsy.  Yeah, I was unprepared for that!

All last evening and this morning I tried not to think about it... denial, great tool when used properly!  I knew I'd start getting anxious and worked up... so I settled into denial for as long as possible.  About 9:30 this morning I couldn't deny it anymore... I'd have to leave work in an hour... anxiety, nausea, sweaty palms, deep (DEEP )breathing to try to calm my nerves!  Oh, and I suddenly became a nervous pee(er)... don't know what that was about.  It progressed as the morning went on.  I went at 6:30 before I left for work, then 8, I think I went again around 9 am, then 10, then again at 10:30 before I left the office, then at 11 when I arrived at the doctor's office.  Good thing my appointment wasn't later in the day... I would have dehydrated!

Mom met me at the doctor's office, I went in to have bloodwork done, then waited nervously.  I didn't wait long, they took us back to a room... my temperature was up a tad, my blood pressure... well, that surprised the heck out of me.  I expected it to be high because it usually is when I go see the doctor (White-coat syndrome? Nope, traffic-in-city syndrome!), plus with being so anxious and worked up.  It was 129... that's it... usually it goes up the 140's.  But my heart rate was way up!

So then they get me up on the table (those short table things you sit on when you visit the doctor), on my stomach.  They lowered the back of my pants down just past my butt cheeks... this is how casual they are toward this procedure... just a regular doctors office and no changing into a gown.

They prepped an area just above and to the left of my butt crack.  She started giving me injections of the numbing stuff, about 4 injections (I think), deeper and deeper towards the bone.  The last one felt like it hit a nerve... oh my gosh, how uncomfortable that was.  Kind of took my breath away.  I thought I was getting another injection, but then I felt it!  It was the needle going down and it hit that nerve area... and stayed there!  Oh my gosh, it was awful!  I was clenched up and breathing hard, I think I was making some sort of groaning noise or something. Then, "Son-of-a-bitch!" exploded out.  I didn't know whether to holler or throw up.  After a bit, she says, "We're almost done, 2 seconds more"... I'm like ok, 2 secs and it's over, ok... WRONG!... done with the bone marrow part... now she was screwing that thing down to take a core sample of my bone.  "SON-OF-A-BITCH!!"  She's over top of me, pushing that thing down pretty hard.  That intense pressure, the nerve pain, you will just never know... they can numb the tissue around the area, but they can't numb down into the bone.  It wasn't a sharp pain like I expected... it was an ongoing, never letting up, heavy pressure, intense "hit-a-nerve" pain. It hurt like a mother-effer!  *Excuse the language*

Then I had to sit there for 10-15 minutes with an ice bag against my butt. Mom said I did better than she thought I would, she figured she'd be hearing more cursing than two SOB's.  *I was trying really hard not to*  They showed us the bone marrow, it looks like thick blood with bits of bone floating around in it.  They also showed us the bone sample.  That was pretty cool.

They have this little "shop" with stuff for cancer patients there, I stopped and picked up a scarf and two turbins (I call 'em lil' beanie hats).  Mom went home and I went back to work.  Which I kind of regretted later after the numbing stuff started wearing off, but I needed the hours.

I meet with Dr. Olajide on March 11th to get the results for both tests and my treatment plan.

No Sheeples Here: The President Who Stood By Our Side: My Tribute To Ronald Reagan

No Sheeples Here: The President Who Stood By Our Side: My Tribute To Ronald Reagan


I just came across this through Supi @ Just an Artist.
Original post from No Sheeples Here.

Click through to see video tribute.

Cancer Recurrence: Update 2

I received a call today from the doctor's office, I've been scheduled for a PET scan.  Dr. Olajide told me she really wanted to do another one since my last one was almost 2 months ago, but my insurance would probably not cover another one since I, more or less, just had one.  I also have a consultation set up with Dr. Eddleman for a port to be placed.

I've put this in God's hands. When I agreed to see the radiation doctor, I said, "Lord, I did my part, I said what I felt I was led to say. Now it's up to you to intervene with this doctor."

Time will tell, but I feel that God was speaking to me in that moment, I was obedient even though I figured my doctor would think I was crazy, and now I'm being told from this new doctor that radiation is not right for my situation and that I need to do a harsher chemo than what I thought I would need. She's concerned that it has already started to spread further... so much so that not only am I doing a bone marrow biopsy, but she had them call my insurance company to explain the need for another PET scan... and got it approved.

So now I have a new schedule:

MON, Feb 21
11 AM
PET Scan

WED, Feb 23
11 AM
Bone Marrow Biopsy

THU, Mar 3
1:30 PM
Port Approval/Discussion

FRI, Mar 11
9 AM
Results & Discussion – Set up treatment.

Cancer Recurrence: Update

Okay, I left off at waiting for the results of my biopsy...

I saw my oncologist for results, discussion and treatment plan.  It is the same lymphoma that I've had... which is good news because we aren't dealing with a new "second" form of cancer.  My doctor thinks I should do localized radiation.

Wait!  What?!

When I first saw him he said we would probably need to do chemotherapy... not the harsh CHOP version like I had before, but a milder form and that I "may not even lose my hair".  I told him I thought I should do chemotherapy.  He gave me this analogy of "not destroying the whole neighborhood because of one bad neighbor".  But my whole neighborhood is messed up... yes, we need to destroy the whole neighborhood... because it's not only under my armpit, but also still on my arm.  I have several bumps/lesions on my arm.  Also, if it has spread anywhere else but has not yet presented itself large enough for the scan to pick up, then chemo will treat those areas as well.  Not that I want to do chemo.. it just sounds like the more logical thing to do in this situation.  Plus, I felt it in my gut, so to speak.  I felt like God was screaming in my head to speak up... we need to do chemo!  He disagreed and wanted me to see the radiation doctor.  The doctor would take a look and decide if it was viable for me to do radiation.  I guess from the size, position, and whatnot... the doctor may decide that radiation may not be the best course of action.  So I agreed to see him.

On January 18th I saw Dr. Anderson.  I was told to come in 1/2 hour early... what for, I do not know, since I sat in the waiting room the entire time.  Then I sat in an office for 20 minutes... like I have nothing better to do.  I understand when you wait in the afternoon, sometimes they get backed up.  This was first thing in the morning... first appointment.  I felt like giving him an invoice for the time I missed from work!

*rant over*

Anyways, he checked me out, I listened to what he had to say, I told him what I thought, he understood why I felt the way I did and couldn't disagree with my reasoning.  He called Dr. Z and, this is where it starts getting bizarre, Dr. Z was going to call a specialist with UNC to discuss my case and the possibility of Chemotherapy Replacement.  "This doctor will explain it all but you probably won't want to go this route." 

Anyways, I was curious to find out about this "Chemotherapy Replacement".  A week went by and I didn't hear anything. 

**Began wondering whether Dr. Z was having a tantrum because I questioned him or because I voiced my opinion.**

I called and left a message, nothing.  So I called Dr. Anderson, 'cause he told me to if I didn't hear something.  They hadn't heard anything either.  The nurse called over and then let me know that they were finishing up processing the paperwork for my Bomary transplant and I should hear about an appointment by the following Monday.  So I'm getting set up for this appointment and get a call that my insurance won't cover a Bomary transplant and I could appeal the decision but I need to get it started right away.  So I say, "What the heck is a Bomary transplant?"  She says, slowly and distinctly, "Bone Marrow Transplant".  Dead silence on my end... Bone marrow transplant?  Yes, the particular chemotherapy I would be doing would warrant me needing a bone marrow transplant.  More silence... then I said, "I don't understand... a bone marrow transplant?  How did we get from a simple radiation that 'should melt it like butter' to bone marrow transplant?"  Which confused her.  So I explained what had transpired... initial visit, light chemotherapy... after testing visit, radiation... I disagreed but saw radiation doctor, I voiced my opinion, he called Dr. Z and now we're at bone marrow transplant.  She agreed that it didn't make sense.  I told her to make an appointment for me to see Dr. Z so we could discuss what was transpiring.  She said that he was going to be out of the office for awhile so let me set you up with someone else in the practice.  At this point, I'm thinking he intentionally went way over to the other end of the spectrum to force me to do what he wants... radiation.  **So now I'm thinking, "Is he really not available or has he decided not to see me anymore because I questioned him? I've been seeing him since 2005... how immature and childish"**

So she made me an appointment to see Dr. Olajide, but she wasn't available until February 15th.  I really didn't want to wait another two weeks but what was I to do.  By the time I see this doctor, it'll be almost 2 months since my PET scan.

I had my appointment on Tuesday.  She looked over my file and checked me out thoroughly, she thinks the mass under my armpit has grown closer to my breast area.  I also have a cyst-like mass on the back of my right arm.  She said that I need to do chemotherapy, CHOP, like I did before... the harsh stuff where I lost all my hair, made me real tired and made my bones ache.  I also need to do a bone marrow biopsy!  My lymphoma was indolent (slow-moving), but is moving faster now that it's in my lymph system.  A bone marrow biopsy will give her more information and she'll better gauge the extent and duration of chemo that I will need.


Wednesday, February 23rd - Bone Marrow Biopsy
Wednesday, March 2nd - Results/Discussion/Treatment Plan


I also stopped in at the Financial Aid office while I was down there.  Hopefully I qualify for some assistance.  I owe around $15,000.00 already.  And with the real estate market the way it is, I'll be lucky if I break even on my house, that is, IF I ever find a buyer.  The realtor wanted to list it at a price that would have had me coming to the table with $2000.00... I don't have $2000.  In better days I would have walked away with about $10,000., now I'm hoping and praying for $5000.  Most likely I won't see anything.  I was depending on that money to pay some of these medical bills.  Ain't life grand!

I keep praying for God to send me a buyer with a reasonable offer.


~~ By the way, I was told on Tuesday that Dr. Z took a medical leave of absence. ~~

Fla. judge strikes down Obama health care overhaul

By MELISSA NELSON, Associated Press

PENSACOLA, Fla. – A federal judge declared the Obama administration's health care overhaul unconstitutional Monday, siding with 26 states that argued people cannot be required to buy health insurance.

Senior U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson agreed with the states that the new law violates people's rights by forcing them to buy health insurance by 2014 or face penalties. He went a step further than a previous ruling against the law, declaring the entire thing unconstitutional if the insurance requirement does not hold up.

Attorneys for the administration had argued that the states did not have standing to challenge the law and that the case should be dismissed.

Justice Department spokeswoman Tracy Schmaler said Monday the department strongly disagrees with Vinson's ruling and intends to appeal.

"There is clear and well-established legal precedent that Congress acted within its constitutional authority in passing this law and we are confident that we will ultimately prevail on appeal," she said in a statement.

The final step will almost certainly be the U.S. Supreme Court. Two other federal judges have already upheld the law and a federal judge in Virginia ruled the insurance mandate unconstitutional but stopped short of voiding the entire thing.

At issue was whether the government is reaching beyond its constitutional power to regulate interstate commerce by requiring citizens to purchase health insurance or face tax penalties.

Vinson said it is, writing in his 78-page ruling that if the government can require people to buy health insurance, it could also regulate food the same way.

"Or, as discussed during oral argument, Congress could require that people buy and consume broccoli at regular intervals," he wrote, "Not only because the required purchases will positively impact interstate commerce, but also because people who eat healthier tend to be healthier, and are thus more productive and put less of a strain on the health care system."

Obama administration attorneys had argued that health care is part of the interstate commerce system. They said the government can levy a tax penalty on Americans who decide not to purchase health insurance because all Americans are consumers of medical care.

But attorneys for the states said the administration was essentially coercing the states into participating in the overhaul by holding billions of Medicaid dollars hostage. The states also said the federal government is violating the Constitution by forcing a mandate on the states without providing money to pay for it.

Opponents of the health overhaul praised the decision Monday afternoon. House Speaker John Boehner said it shows Senate Democrats should follow a House vote to repeal the law.

"Today's decision affirms the view, held by most of the states and a majority of the American people, that the federal government should not be in the business of forcing you to buy health insurance and punishing you if you don't," he said in a statement.

Democrats just as quickly slammed the decision.

"This lawsuit is nothing more than an attempt by those who want to raise taxes on small businesses, increase prescription prices for seniors and allow insurance companies to once again deny sick children medical care," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said in a prepared statement.

Former Florida Republican Attorney General Bill McCollum filed the lawsuit just minutes after President Barack Obama signed the 10-year, $938 billion health care bill into law in March. He chose a court in Pensacola, one of Florida's most conservative cities. The nation's most influential small business lobby, the National Federation of Independent Business, also joined.

Officials in the states that sued lauded Vinson's decision. Almost all of them have Republican governors, attorneys general or both.

"In making his ruling, the judge has confirmed what many of us knew from the start; ObamaCare is an unprecedented and unconstitutional infringement on the liberty of the American people," Florida GOP Gov. Rick Scott said in a statement.

Other states that joined the suit are: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Georgia, Indiana, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming.

___

Associated Press Writer Curt Anderson in Miami contributed to this report.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110131/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_overhaul

Cat Doors Galore

My dad, bless his heart, got two pieces of plexiglass and glued them together to put a cat door in so they could have an exit out my bedroom window.  I didn't want to use a piece of wood and block my whole window.

He also cut a hole in my bedroom door for me so I could put one in so I didn't have to play doorman for my cats... now I can sleep with my door closed.

And check this out... finally tolerating each other. The gray one is my mom's cat, Apollo (we tend to call him Pillow most the time); the black & white is my Simon.

Cancer Recurrence: Biopsy/Surgery

Yesterday, Jan. 4th:

So... I got up at 4 am to be at the hospital at 5:15 am for my surgery scheduled at 7:15 am!  Why I had to be there two hours early?  I do not know... Mom & I spent a lot of time sitting and waiting.  Seems a little extreme, but... whatever.

I wasn't put completely under, not until he decided if he was able to take the whole mass out, so I was talking to him (felt kind of like in a dream state).  I remember, at one point, warning him that I was going to cough because I knew it was going to shake my body.  Wanted to make sure he wasn't cutting when it happened.  *LOL*

I drifted off a few times and woke myself up snoring... next thing I know they're rousing me and I had to scooch over off the table to the bed.  I went into recovery, they got me some water and brought mom in.  After about 15 minutes or so they were getting me on my way.  I was released around 8:45 am.

The doctor wasn't able to remove the mass, it had become a little bigger and harder and the doctor said it may cause too much nerve damage.  We'll have to shrink it first.

I was tired, but felt great.  I was ready to go to work, of course, mom wouldn't let me.  They had given me a prescription for pain killers, but I never end up using them; so mom & I decided, the pharmacy is right down the road, if we need them she could run down real quick and get them... but no sense spending the money for no reason.  Glad we didn't get them, I didn't even need Tylenol or Nuprin... I didn't have any pain what-so-ever.  Dr. Eddleman is a great surgeon!

My Incision

He put stitches inside and glued the outside.

Around 5 pm, mom and I noticed that the glue was splitting and my incision was pulling open.  One side was gaping and this orangish liquid was starting to drain out.  Kind of looked like betadine solution. 

Incision Starting to Open

**basically, my breast was too big and heavy and was pulling on the incision, I ended up having to hold my boob up to keep it from splitting completely open**

So we tried taping it up and I called the doctor's service... he quickly called back.  Told me he was going into a surgery so he would be at the hospital, but anyone working the ER could take care of it... and that he didn't put betadine in it.  *lol*  We really didn't want to run all the way to Raleigh so we decided to go to the Wakefield branch.  They wouldn't treat me... I had my surgery at Rex Hospital and this Rex branch wouldn't treat me.  They wouldn't even look at it before deciding... all they heard was 'surgery this morning, incision opening up' and they didn't want to touch it.  They were afraid something was wrong and didn't want a lawsuit!  Can you believe that shit!?

So we ended up going all the way downtown Raleigh.  They took me quickly into Triage where I told them who my doctor was and that he told me he would be here and that they needed to call or page him, they coded me a 2 (yellow), then sent me into the waiting room.  There we sat and waited, and waited.  We had arrived around 6:30 pm.  I think it was about 8 pm when I went and tried to find out if they had called my doctor.  I couldn't get any help.  At 8:12 pm I called my doctor's service again to let him know that I was there and I didn't think they were telling him.  By 9 pm, I figured he was no longer there.  We sat waiting until 9:45 pm.  One lady started doing second passes because so many people were waiting for very long periods.  When she came across me and my situation... she was very angry that I had been coded yellow and had not been attended to.  She said I should have been sent over to Minor care immediately.  So she called over and told them to make room for me, then, apparently, she called my doctor... who was still there and getting ready to do an appendectomy.  He came over right away and took care of me himself.  Mom & I were so surprised to see him walk in.  Everybody kept apologizing to me.  By this time, half of the incision had split open and it had continued to drain quite a bit.  He put a stonger glue on and then (suture) strips for added support.  So I had to wear my bra to bed for extra support, which totally sucked!

There was this funny part... the girl was trying to have me sign the disclosures while the doctor was getting the glue and stuff... I was trying to hold my boob up, while trying to hold the chart with the papers to sign, plus trying to sign.  As I'm trying to juggle this, I finally look up at her and said, "You wanna hold my boob while I sign this?"  She started apologizing and said she would come back, so I ended up signing the paperwork AFTER I was treated.

We got home just after 11 pm.  I sent an email to my supervisor letting her know I wouldn't be in the next day.

So that was my day!  No... so that was my LONG day!

**Oh, my doctor had asked me in the morning if I had heard back about my PET scan, I told him I hadn't and I suspected they weren't going to call me but have my Oncologist let me know.  Well, when I saw him in the ER, he said he called about my scans and they didn't show any masses anywhere else.  (At least not to a point where the scan can pick it up... if it has just started to spread, whatever we do for this mass will most likely exterminate anything else that may be too small for the scan to pick up.)  So that is extremely good news! They are going to send my biopsy to the Mayo Clinic, which will take a little bit longer to get the results back... but he should have them by next Tuesday for my post-surgery follow-up appointment.

Cancer Recurrence: Reason 2 (from last post)

Tuesday evening, December 14th, I found a large mass just below my right armpit.  I thought, "What the hell is that?  ...no, don't have one here (the left side).  It's pretty big and I couldn't believe I was just finding it.  I called the doctor from work on Wednesday and they set up an appointment for Thursday... which was going to be ugly weatherwise, but I didn't want to wait until the following Tuesday.  I didn't tell mom what I'd found, wanted to wait to see what the doctor said.  I was concerned because of it's position in the lymph area... I had a bad feeling.

Last December I went in with a swelling at my neck/shoulder area that turned out to be nothing.  My doctor wasn't impressed... said I'd have to do better than that.  *lol*  I was hoping this would be the same.

This time, he was impressed.  Actually seemed a little surprised and concerned.  I don't think he expected this.  He said it was definitely something and it has gone into the lymph system.  He mentioned possibly doing a bone marrow test, won't decide until my other tests come in and have a better idea of what we're dealing with.  I said, "I hear bone marrow tests hurt!?" He replied, "Well, you know, umm... yeah, it hurts."  That's what I love about Dr. Z, he tells me the truth... honest and up front.  I stopped at mom & dad's on the way home to let them know what was going on.

I always heard once it hits your lymph system, it's all over with... it spreads like wildfire through your body.

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History

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Some of you are aware that I have Lymphoma (a form of Cancer), and that I have had it going on 12 years now. For those who didn't... It took five years to be diagnosed... it started in 1999, it first looked like ringworm or something akin to it. In 2000, I was treated for ringworm, they lanced it, treated for fungus, shot it with steroids... nothing seemed to clear it up. Then in 2004, Dec. 10, I was sent for a biopsy; on December 29th, I received the call. Cancerous.

At first I was diagnosed as stage 4 and treated with CHOP chemotherapy.  Pretty severe.  Turned out I was slightly misdiagnosed.  The doctor I started seeing down here in NC stopped the chemo and did more tests because things didn't seem right.  The original doctor saw spots on my lungs and presumed they were cancerous, turned out those spots were only scar tissue from when I had severe pneumonia in 1991.  My lymphoma is rare and indolent (slow-moving), it has stayed on my arm area, only moving from below the elbow to above the elbow over 11 years.  Other than the initial chemo, I have had two series of localized radiation a couple of years ago, but that's it.  It has been managable, I saw my oncologist once or twice a year, had bloodwork done, a scan once a year for the first three years... the usual "keep an eye on it" stuff.

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On 12/21/10, I had an initial consultation for a biopsy.  We want to make sure this is the same lymphoma or has it mutated, or is it something entirely different.

On 12/22/10, I had a PET scan.

On 12/30/10, I had pre-op testing and consultation.

Tuesday, 1/4/11, I have Biopsy/Surgery.  He couldn't do a simple biopsy because of where it is located.  He's going to go in to cut out a few chunks for analysis and if it looks fairly clear and easy to excise, he may just take the whole mass out.  My surgery is scheduled for 7:15am, but I have to be there at 5:15am... which means mom & I have to leave about 4:30 in the morning. Ugh!!

On 1/11/11, I have a post-op follow-up in the morning, then I meet with my oncologist, Dr. Z for test results and treatment options.

So extra prayers will be much appreciated.

CH-Ch-Ch-Changes!

December 17th & 18th I moved in with mom & dad... have to sell my house.  Actually for two reasons now...

1. Because I'm not earning quite what I used to before I was laid off from my last job and I was scrimping then.
2. To be shared soon... a recent situation I've decided to blog through.

Been trying to adjust to my new living quarters... my cats are trying to adjust too, they're not used to anyone but me being around.  They're skittish around other people... skittish is putting it mildly.  They usually beat it out the cat door if anyone came to the door... or if they heard a vehicle pull in the driveway.

Simon is doing remarkably well, seems to be asserting himself with the "natives" (mom's cats).  There have been a few squabbles.  Missy is still pretty much hiding in my room, mostly under the covers.

Well, got to get to bed... one more day and then it's a three-day weekend!

I Fought For You: By The Sound Tank

My dad forwarded this to me.