When I Say, "I Am A Christian"

When I Say, "I Am A Christian"
by Carol Wimmer

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
 I’m whispering, “I get lost!
 That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I don’t speak with human pride
 I’m confessing that I stumble -
 needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I’m not trying to be strong
 I’m professing that I’m weak
 and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I’m not bragging of success
 I’m admitting that I’ve failed
 and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I don’t think I know it all
 I submit to my confusion
 asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I’m not claiming to be perfect
 My flaws are far too visible
 but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I still feel the sting of pain
 I have my share of heartache
 which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian”
 I do not wish to judge
 I have no authority
 I only know I’m loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer

Chemo Update

They canceled my chemo last Tuesday... neuropathy is more severe than they are comfortable with. They are going to set up a scan for next week, to see if any active cancer cells are still showing, then we'll go from there. The delay, hopefully, will give my nerves a chance to heal a little.

Apple's Shame II

By Cyril Chang, posted Sep 11, 2012 at 8:27 PM, 214,474 views

The Undercover Report on How the New iPhone 5 is Made Inside Foxconn Factory

  A Chinese news agency, Shanghai Evening Post, has sent an experienced journalist to slip into the Foxconn Tai Yuan factory and pretended as a new worker, his mission is to find out how the new iPhone 5 is produced. The Chinese journalist precisely recorded his 10 days of working experience in the factory and published a dairy to disclose the inside story of manufacturing the iPhone 5. The Tai Yuan Foxconn factory is recently well-known for it’s large-scale workers strike which took place during March. Back then the factory urgently needs 20,000 more workers because Foxconn has received orders for the production of iPhone 5. The plants needs to produce 57 million iPhone 5 for each year. Apparently, the journalist only stayed inside the Foxconn factory for 10 days due to the undesirable working conditions. He has undergone mean training during the first 7 days and finally got the chance to take part the producing of iPhone 5 on the 8th day …

UPDATE SEPT 24 – Part 1: Taiyuan Foxconn has gone strike !
UPDATE SEPT 24 – Part 2: We have got in touch with the undercover journalist.
Editor note: If you have no patience to read his orientation experience over at Foxconn, please skip to day 8 section for the detail on iPhone 5 manufacturing, that is the best part of the whole undercovered story. But we still highly recommend you to read from day one as there are many interesting inside stories about Foxconn working condition that we never heard before.

We have summarized and translated his entire diary as below:

DAY 1: Recruitment – “Good health with Citizen Identity Card”
Recruit of new workers. (Photo Credit: AP)   I have contacted the person in charge of the Human Resource who’s handling the recruitment and I was told that I can work in Foxonn as long as I’m healthy and own a citizenship identity card. When I reached the entrance of Foxconn factory, I was approached by a so-called Foxconn security guard who asked for 100-200 yuan (USD$15-28) to provide me a faster way to start working in Foxconn, but I ignored him. I was asked to fill in a form to test my current state of mentality. There are about 30 mentality questions for me to answer “Yes” or “No” of how do I feel for the past 30 days. For example one of the questions they asked: “Have you got into a state of mental trance recently?” Finally after answering all the questions, other workers and I took a bus ride to the Taiyuan Foxconn factory.

Foxconn factory in Tai Yuan, Shanxi province in North China.     Foxconn provides basic dormitory for the workers. (Photo Credit: Daily Mail)
The first night sleeping at Foxconn dormitory is a nightmare. The whole dormitory smells like garbage when I walked in. It’s a mixed of overnight garbage smell plus dirty sweat and foam smell. Outside every room was fully piled up with uncleared trash. When I opened my wardrobe, lots of cockroaches crawl out from inside and the bedsheets that are being distributed to every new workers are full of dirts and ashes.

---

DAY 2: Signing Contract – “No environmental harm ?”
Briefing on new workers during the orientation.
I was having my first breakfast in Foxconn canteen on the 2nd day morning when I heard a loud scream: “Fxxk! The food sux ! Don’t expect me to work overtime !” After the shouting, the same guy whispered that he will damage the bed at the dormitory before he quits. This might explained why there’s a large hole on my wooden bed plank. We were asked to sign the employment contract right in the canteen after the breakfast. The contract has highly emphasized on 4 confidential areas that need to be kept strictly confidential, 1: All technical information, 2: Sales figures, 3: Human resource, 4: Production statistics. The contract didn’t mention much on the overtime works. Under the section of “Possible harmful effects that may cause to worker during production”, the management has asked us to tick “No” for all of them. This includes “Noise pollution” and “Toxic Pollution”, I was wondering if the production floor will caused any harmful effects while working.
The crowded canteen in Foxconn factory.

---

DAYS 3 to 6: Training Session – “All you need to do is OBEY”
Worker’s dormitories have been framed behind safety wire that looks like bars.
(Photo Credit: Daily Mail)
The day after signing of the contract, we are being gathered in a hall and briefed with the history of Foxconn company, policies and safety measures. During the whole conference, we are being highly emphasized on one point: “When you leave the lab, there’s no advanced technology, you only need to obey instructions.” We are being distributed with a checklist with only 13 rewards policies but over 70 penalties policies. The instructor said: “You might feel uncomfortable of how we treat you, but this is all for your own good.” After that we are asked to watch an orientation video on the Foxconn factory. When someone has asked about the suicide issues, the management staff didn’t avoid the topic but not willing to discuss too much on it. During the suicide topic discussion, someone has voiced out that the bad living environment will sure lead to more suicides. Also I have noticed that all the windows in the dormitory has been framed behind bars.

---

Day 7: Break Time – “Release of Stress”
Working in Foxconn might face heavy stress.
After the training session we are being arranged to start work very swiftly but it’s already night. We are only allowed to rest during the day time. After all the intensive trainings and briefings, I had a fever and terrible headache before I can even start work. I requested to visit the hospital in the factory, but there’s only one doctor on shift handling 4-5 patients at the same time. When I asked one of the nurse about how can I claim the medical checkup fees, the nurse rudely reply me: “Go and ask your boss ! “For the past several days, I have been to many Foxconn facilities such as dormitory, canteen, bathing room, playground, gym, hospital, postal office, library and shopping street etc. Although most of them are free of charge but the facilities seriously needs improvements. For example, inside the entertainment center there are 2/3 of the arcades games are malfunction. The so-called theater room only shows a screen shot picture of a meeting room. The most interesting part is out of the whole Foxconn factory, I can’t find a single place selling beer, sitting stool and poles for hanging laundry clothes.Over the weekends, outside at the playground, there’s a social gathering where all Foxconn workers gather and dance. The host of the party speaks through the mic: “We are all over stressed everyday and we are not allowed to shout on the production floor. Over here you can shout as loud as you want to release your stress.” One of my room mate has told me that he likes this weekly dancing party very much and he has found a girlfriend during the dance.

---

DAYS 8 to 10: iPhone 5 Assembling- “Do what you are told to do !”
The production line in Foxconn.
We have reached the entrance of the production floor with a warning sign that says: “TOP SECURITY AREA”. We are told that if anyone enter or exit the metal detector door and found carrying any metallic stuff on your body such as belt buckle, ear rings, cameras, handset, mp3 players, the alarm will sound and you will be fired on the spot. One of my room mate told me that his friend has been fired because he carried an USB charging cable. When I walked into the production floor after passing through the metal detector door, I heard loud sounds of machinery engines and a very dense of plastic smell. Our supervisor warned us: “Once you sit down, you only do what you are told”. The supervisor finally present us the back of the iPhone 5 and shows it to all of us and said: “This is the new unleashed iPhone 5 back plate, you should be honored having the chance to produce it”

Our line is being assigned to use masking tapes and plastic stoppers to cover up the earphone jack and the connector ports of the back plate in order to prevent the paint from being sprayed onto it on the next process. Our supervisor asked us to put on our mask and gloves and see how the seniors work on it. At 11 p.m, we went for a supper and after midnight, we started work again. I’m being assigned to mark placement points on the iPhone 5 back-plate using an oil-based paint pen. I’m being scolded many times for spilling too much oil on the markings. My roommate has being assigned to paste the masking tapes of not more than 5mm wide on the right spots that I have marked. And he has being scolded many times for pasting them too slow. Our supervisor said that these works were actually being assigned to females workers with nimber fingers, but due to too many workers have resigned lately they have no choice but to assign these jobs to male workers.

Most new employed male workers do not have nimber fingers.
An iPhone 5 back-plate run through in front of me almost every 3 seconds. I have to pickup the back-plate and marked 4 position points using the oil-based paint pen and put it back on the running belt swiftly within 3 seconds with no errors. After such repeat action for several hours, I have terrible neckache and muscle pain on my arm. A new worker who sat opposite of me gone exhausted and laid down for a short while. The supervisor has noticed him and punished him by asking him to stand at one corner for 10 minutes like the old school days. We worked non-stop from midnight to the next morning 6 a.m but were still asked to keep on working as the production line is based on running belt and no one is allowed to stop. I’m so starving and fully exhausted.By my own calculations, I have to mark five iPhone plates every minute, at least. For every 10 hours, I have to accomplish 3,000 iPhone 5 back plates. There are total 4 production lines in charge of this process, 12 workers in every line. Each line can produce 36,000 iPhone 5 back plates in half a day, this is scary … I finally stopped working at 7 a.m. We were asked to gather again after work. The supervisor shout out loud in front of us: “Who wants to rest early at 5 a.m !? We are all here to earn money ! Let’s work harder !” I was thinking who on earth wants to work two extra hours overtime for only mere 27 yuan (USD$4) !?
Workers rushing their work flow.(Photo Credit: ABC)
On the next following day, we were all being treated the same way by our supervisors and all of us were very pissed. Every time we picked up the iPhone 5 components, we put it back on the running belt real hard and scold “fxxk” just to release our stress. One of the senior advised us to stop work on time at 5 a.m even if the supervisor ask you to over time, as this is not against the regulations. Among our batch of 36 new workers, only two workers were lucky enough to arrange work under the quality control inspection department, where they get to rest 10 minutes for every 2 hours work, unlike the rest of us who have to work non-stop for 7 straight hours. — (End of Diary)

---

Our Thought …We are confounded on the diary on how bad the living condition of the Foxconn workers at the dormitory and the kind of treatment they have received. Though it’s still interesting to know the workflow of manufacturing the iPhone 5 back-plate. Although there is no guarantee of the report’s authenticity, but we still feel that all Apple fanboys should appreciate the hard work from the Chinese workers, as they have worked overtime which is certainly underpaid, just to rush out the iPhone 5 hoping to meet the scheduled of the launching date. Now we are getting even more excited after roughly knowing the factory’s production workflow of the latest iPhone 5. So what is Apple going to show us after 20 hours time ? The original printed newspaper report on the under-covered. The published date is
on August 27th, we believe the under-covered may conducted in July.
SOURCE: Shanghai Evening Post (Chinese translated)


http://micgadget.com/29723/the-undercover-report-on-how-the-new-iphone-5-is-made-inside-foxconn-factory/


Here is the first post I did on Apple's Shame:
http://thecatladychronicles.blogspot.com/2012/02/apples-shame.html



 

Cancer Update: BMT, Chemo, Neuropathy

Photo by Anne STA ~ 
Still no news on the bone marrow transplant, they are looking for a match.

On September 11th I had my 15th session of chemo.  Was supposed to have one more on October 2nd, but they are considering extending it a little longer.  With my neuropathy getting worse little by little, they are also considering either putting more weeks between sessions or maybe stopping for a bit to see if it subsides, then continuing.

I haven't talked with the doctor yet, but after this last session, the neuropathy took a big jump.  It is really bad in my fingers, and not just the fingertip area, it has gone down to the second joint.  I have a lot of trouble feeling things, the nerves are super sensitive, and I get bad pains zapping through.  I don't use the computer much 'cause typing makes my finger pads start to hurt like they are smashed and bloody.  My toes sometimes feel like they are hanging off like a loose tooth that needs pulled.  The feeling is so real and a bit disconcerting... I have to actually look at them and check to make sure they're not.  I'm concerned that most, if not all, of this neuropathy may be permanent.

I have been dealing with the discomfort and pain during the day by trying to keep my mind busy and concentrating on other things.  I try to do what I'm able to and I watch alot of movies, news, tv shows.  It's the night time that gets you... as you try to settle down to sleep and there isn't anything to busy your mind.  Then you really feel the pains.  Sometimes you want to cry, sometimes you feel like screaming because of the constant, neverending, relentless buzzing, zapping, shooting pains.  My toes are so sensitive the sheets feel like razors or glass shards being dragged across them.  My doctor gave me neurontin (gabapentin), but I had bad cramping with it.  She then gave me percocet (endocet 5-325), which has been working for me at night.  I take one tablet about two hours before bed.  Sometimes I want to take two pills, but I know this drug can be addictive and can cause liver damage... so I don't.  She has recently gotten me authorized for Lyrica, hoping that I wouldn't have the cramping with this... but I'm too scared to take it... the possible side effects and warnings are awful.  Suicidal thoughts, becoming aggressive, swelling of the mouth, tongue, lips, difficulty breathing.  **Yeah, not winning me over.**

Maybe I'll buck up and try it tomorrow.

I was also told to take magnesium, so I added that, plus some other vitamins and whatnot.  Magnesium, Super B-Complex, Zinc, Align Probiotics, E & C, and a vitamin blend for people who take acid reducer pills such as Prevacid, Prilosec, etc.  One of them or a combination of one or two is causing me severe cramping and diarrhea.  I've had to stop taking them and tomorrow night I'm going to start adding them one at a time to weed out the culprit(s).

Neuropathy Woes

The neuropathy in my fingers is getting worse... tonight I picked up a stack of (two) bowls from the cupboard, thought I had a good hold of them, but evidently I couldn't feel that I didn't quite have them or couldn't feel them slipping... not really sure since it happened so fast, and, of course, didn't feel it.  It was almost immediate... the bottom one was laying shattered on the counter.  :0  It was a little shocking 'cause it happened so fast!  *lol*   I told mom that maybe we better get some plastic dishes for me.   ;)

Also, my hands, arms and legs shake alot... it's like the beginning stages of Parkinson's or something!  :)  Oh the wonders of chemo!

Article from: The Gospel Coalition - Gay Is Not The New Black

He makes some very good points.  He takes the issues of "same-sex marriage" and the comparison of the "homosexual struggle" to the civil rights struggle completely apart and goes through it point by point.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Voddie Baucham is the pastor of preaching at Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, Texas, and a Council member for The Gospel Coalition.

From:  The Gospel Coalition - Gay Is Not The New Black

It's hard to deny that homosexual marriage appears to be a foregone conclusion in America. This is a frightening prospect not only for those of us who understand marriage to be a testimony of the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church, but also for all who value the family and its contribution to the well-being of society and human thriving. And while it's difficult to watch a coordinated, well-funded, well-connected propaganda strategy undermine thousands of years of human history, it's especially disconcerting to witness the use of the civil rights struggle as the vehicle for the strategy.

The idea that same-sex "marriage" is the next leg in the civil rights race is ubiquitous. One of the clearest examples of the conflation of homosexual "marriage" and civil rights is Michael Gross's article in The Advocate, in which he coins the now-popular phrase "Gay is the new black."¹ Gross is not alone in his conflation of the two issues, however. At a 2005 banquet, Julian Bond, former head of the NAACP, said, "Sexual disposition parallels race. I was born this way. I have no choice. I wouldn't change it if I could. Sexuality is unchangeable."²

Nor is this kind of thinking exclusive to the political left. When asked by GQ magazine if he thought homosexuality was a choice, Michael Steele, former chairman of the Republican National Committee, replied:

Oh, no. I don't think I've ever really subscribed to that view, that you can turn it on and off like a water tap. Um, you know, I think that there's a whole lot that goes into the makeup of an individual that, uh, you just can't simply say, oh, like, "Tomorrow morning I'm gonna stop being gay." It's like saying, "Tomorrow morning I'm gonna stop being black."³

Even the California Supreme Court bought in to this line of reasoning. In a February 2008 decision they reasoned:

Furthermore, in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual's capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual's sexual orientation---like a person's race or gender---does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.⁴ (emphasis added)

The California Supreme Court, like Gross, would have us believe that the homosexual struggle for a redefinition of marriage puts them in the same category as my ancestors. However, they would rather you didn't take a closer look, lest you see how flimsy the comparison turns out to be.


Unidentifiable Minority

The first problem with the idea of conflating "sexual orientation" and race is the fact that homosexuality is undetectable apart from self-identification. Determining whether or not a person is black, Native American, or female usually involves no more than visual verification. However, should doubt remain, blood tests, genetics, or a quick trip up the family tree would suffice. Not so with homosexuality. There is no evidence that can confirm or deny a person's claims regarding sexual orientation.⁵

Moreover, the homosexual community itself has made this identification even more complicated in an effort to distance itself from those whose same-sex behavior they find undesirable. The Jerry Sandusky case is a prime example. Sandusky is accused of molesting numerous young boys during and after his tenure at Penn State. However, try placing the label "homosexual" on his activities and the backlash will be swift and unequivocal. "Pedophiles are not homosexuals!" is the consistent refrain coming from the homosexual community, media, academia, and the psychological/medical establishment.⁶

Hence, it seems same-sex attraction alone isn't enough to identify a person as a homosexual. And what about LUGS⁷ in college, or same-sex relationships in prison? Are these people homosexual? How about men who are extremely effeminate but prefer women, or those who once were practicing homosexuals but have since come out of the lifestyle (i.e., 1 Cor. 6:9-11)? In short, it's impossible to identify who is or is not a homosexual. As a result, how do we know to whom the civil rights in question should be attributed? Should a man who isn't a homosexual (assuming we could determine such a thing) but tries to enter a same-sex union be treated the same as a woman who isn't Native American but tries to claim it to win sympathy, or casino rights, or votes?
But this isn't the only problem with the civil rights angle.


Unalterable Definition

An additional problem with the "gay is the new black" argument is the complete disconnect between same-sex "marriage" and anti-miscegenation laws. First, there is a categorical disconnect. Miscegenation literally means "the interbreeding of people considered to be of different racial types." Ironically, the fact that homosexuals cannot "interbreed" shines a spotlight on the problem inherent in their logic. How can forbidding people who actually have the ability to interbreed be the same thing as acknowledging the fact that two people categorically lack that ability?⁸

Second, there is a definitional disconnect. The very definition of marriage eliminates the possibility of including same-sex couples. The word marriage has a long and well-recorded history; it means "the union of a man and a woman." Even in cultures that practice polygamy, the definition involves a man and several women. Therefore, while anti-miscegenation laws denied people a legitimate right, the same cannot be said concerning the denial of marriage to same-sex couples; one cannot be denied a right to something that doesn't exist.

It should be noted that the right to marry is one of the most frequently denied rights we have. People who are already married, 12-year-olds, and people who are too closely related are just a few categories of people routinely and/or categorically denied the right to marry. Hence, the charge that it is wrong to deny any person a "fundamental right" rings hollow. There has always been, and, by necessity, will always be discrimination in marriage laws.

Third, there is a historical disconnect. As early as the time of Moses, recorded history is replete with interracial marriages. In our own history, the marriage of John Rolfe and Pocahontas in the 17th century,⁹ along with the fact that anti-miscegenation laws were usually limited only to the intermarrying of certain "races" of people (i.e., black and white), stands as historical evidence of the legal and logical inconsistency of such laws. Thus, unlike same-sex "marriage" advocates, those fighting for the right to intermarry in the civil rights era had history on their side.

Fourth, there is a legal disconnect. One thing that seems to escape most people in this debate is the fact that homosexuals have never been denied the right to marry. They simply haven't had the right to redefine marriage. But don't take my word for it; listen to the Iowa Supreme Court in their decision in favor of same-sex "marriage": "It is true the marriage statute does not expressly prohibit gay and lesbian persons from marrying; it does, however, require that if they marry, it must be to someone of the opposite sex."

There it is: not only in black and white, but in a legal decision. Homosexuals haven't been deprived of any right. How, then, do those on the side of same-sex marriage continue to make the claim that this is a civil rights issue? The key is in the next paragraph:

[The] right of a gay or lesbian person under the marriage statute to enter into a civil marriage only with a person of the opposite sex is no right at all. Under such a law, gay or lesbian individuals cannot simultaneously fulfill their deeply felt need for a committed personal relationship, as influenced by their sexual orientation, and gain the civil status and attendant benefits granted by the statute.

I feel the need to remind the reader that this is a legal decision, since phrases like "gay or lesbian individuals cannot simultaneously fulfill their deeply felt need for a committed personal relationship" tend to sound out of place in such a document. Further, this is asinine logic. For example, following this line of reasoning, one could argue, "I have the right to join the military, but I am a pacifist. Therefore, I don't really have the right (since it would be repulsive to me). Therefore, we need to establish a pacifist branch of the military so that I can fulfill both my desire to join, and my desire not to fight."

However, this reasoning is critically important in order to make the next leap in logic. "[A] gay or lesbian person can only gain the same rights under the statute as a heterosexual person by negating the very trait that defines gay and lesbian people as a class---their sexual orientation."


Unsustainable Precedent

Perhaps the most damning aspect of the civil rights argument is logical unsustainability. If sexual orientation/identity is the basis for (1) classification as a minority group, and (2) legal grounds for the redefinition of marriage, then what's to stop the "bisexual" from fighting for the ability to marry a man and a woman simultaneously since his "orientation" is, by definition, directed toward both sexes?¹⁰ What about the member of NAMBLA whose orientation is toward young boys?¹¹ Where do we stop, and on what basis?

Homosexual advocates are loath to answer this question. In fact, they are adept at avoiding it (and are rarely pressed on the point). However, the further legal implications of court decisions about same-sex marriage are inevitable. Nowhere is this clearer than in Lawrence v. Texas, a decision that struck down anti-sodomy laws. In the majority decision, Justice Kennedy cited his 1992 opinion in Planned Parenthood v. Casey:

These matters, involving the most intimate and personal choices a person may make in a lifetime, choices central to personal dignity and autonomy, are central to the liberty protected by the Fourteenth Amendment. At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State.¹²

I have no legal training, and I recognize the limits of my ability to fully evaluate the implications of such a decision. However, I do take notice when Justice Scalia responds to this assertion by stating:

I have never heard of a law that attempted to restrict one's "right to define" certain concepts; and if the passage calls into question the government's power to regulate actions based on one's self-defined "concept of existence, etc.," it is the passage that ate the rule of law.¹³ (emphasis added)

Inescapable Confrontation

It is very important for those of us who oppose the idea of same-sex "marriage" to do so not because we wish to preserve our version of the American Dream, but because we view marriage as a living, breathing picture of the relationship between Christ and his church (Eph. 5:22ff), and because we know that God has designed the family in a particular way. While the design of the family promotes human thriving (Gen 1:27-28), the testimony points people to their only hope in this life and the next. As a result, silence on this issue is not an option.

Unfortunately (and quite ironically), many Christians have been bullied into silence by the mere threat of censure from the homosexual lobby. "Oppose us and you're no better than Gov. Wallace, Hitler, and those homophobes who killed Matthew Shepard!" is their not-so-subtle refrain. Consequently, we spend so much time trying to prove we're not hate-filled murderers that we fail to recognize that the Emperor has no clothes. There is no legal, logical, moral, biblical, or historical reason to support same-sex "marriage." In fact, there are myriad reasons not to support it. I've only provided a few.

---

¹ Michael Joseph Gross, "Gay is the New Black," The Advocate, November 16, 2008 (available online at http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid65744.asp).

² Ertha Melzer, "NAACP chair says 'gay rights are civil rights,'" Washington Blade, April 8, 2005. It should also be noted that the NAACP recently endorsed same-sex marriage (http://graftedthemovie.blogspot.com/p/watch-grafted.html)---significant since the organization exists for the "Advancement of 'Colored' People."

³ Micheal Steele interview in "The Reconstructionist," by Lisa Paulo, GQ (March 2009), available at http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-q/2009/03/-the-reconstructionist-michael-steele.html.

⁴ http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/archive/S147999.PDF

⁵ Even if brain studies, twin studies, etc., provided conclusive links (which they do not), one would still be left with the fact that while blackness and maleness are attributes one cannot deny, homosexual behavior is not. Thus, even if there were a genetic connection, it would be insufficient to propel sexual orientation into the same category as race or sex.

⁶ http://equalitymatters.org/factcheck/201111170008

⁷ The term "Lesbian Until Graduation" refers to young women who participate in lesbian relationships only during the duration of their college life.

⁸ It is important to note that this is a categorical distinction, and not a determination based on fertility. Otherwise, the same could be said about men and women beyond child-bearing years, or those with defects preventing conception.

⁹ http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/pocahontas-marries-john-rolfe. Though it is commonly thought that Pocahontas married John Smith, it was actually English tobacco farmer John Rolfe whom she married on April 5, 1614, in Jamestown, Virginia.

¹⁰ See Elizabeth Emens's February 2003 Chicago Law School White paper, MONOGAMY'S LAW: COMPULSORY MONOGAMY AND POLYAMOROUS EXISTENCE, available at http://www.law.uchicago.edu/files/files/58-monogamy.pdf.

¹¹ North American Man/Boy Love Association. Their motto is "Eight is Too Late." http://www.nambla.org

¹² Justice Kennedy Majority Opinion, "John Geddes Lawrence and Tyron Garner, Petitioners V. Texas " in 539 U. S. (2003), ed. Supreme Court of the United States (2003).

¹³ Antonin Scalia Dissenting Opinion, "John Geddes Lawrence and Tyron Garner, Petitioners V. Texas " in 539 U. S. (2003), ed. Supreme Court of the United States (2003).

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/07/19/gay-is-not-the-new-black/

Thank Chick-fil-A

Thank Chick-fil-A

Send a thank you note to Chick-fil-A to show your support. (Click on the link above.)

Also, be sure to show up at your local Chick-fil-A on Wednesday,  August 1st, to buy some chicken... be sure to bring your friends and family!  Stand up for your rights and theirs.  Chick-fil-A has not discriminated against any homosexual or transgendered individual.  Chick-fil-A does have a Constitutional right to their religious belief and they have a right to support that view.  If you don't agree with it, then you have a right to go elsewhere.

There is a HUGE "lack of tolerance" on the side of the LGBT supporters when it comes to the Constitutional rights of others that don't agree with them.  If you don't agree with the LGBT movement, you are labeled haters, bigots, and intolerant.

The LGBT movement have become some of the biggest BULLIES!

It is time people wake up to that fact and start standing up for their Constitutional Rights.

Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) Update

I received a call from my BMT nurse and coordinator, she wanted to make sure I wanted to start down this path... because she found a couple of possible donors and before she requested the samples she wanted to make sure I was on board, because requesting samples for further testing costs money.  It will be 6-8 weeks before I know if we have a match or not.  Once we find a match, then I have to have my scans, meet with the doctor again, have to go through the chemo to wipe out my bone marrow cells and then have the transplant.  So I guess if they do find me a match in this go-around, we'll be looking at an October transplant.  A rough estimate anyway.

I have been asked if blood type matters... the answer if Yes, and No... for the best (or perfect) case scenario, yes they would like to find a bone marrow donor with the right HLA markers that also shares my same blood type.  BUT, they do use donors with different blood types.  What really matters are the HLA (Human Leukocyte Antigen) Markers.


Matching a patient

Q: How is a bone marrow match determined?
A: Doctors look for a donor who matches their patient's tissue type, specifically their human leukocyte antigen (HLA) tissue type. HLAs are proteins — or markers — found on most cells in your body. Your immune system uses these markers to recognize which cells belong in your body and which do not. The closer the match between the patient's HLA markers and yours, the better for the patient.

Excerpt from www.marrow.org
http://marrow.org/Registry_Members/Donation/Donation_FAQs.aspx#match


What is really crazy is... if we do use a donor with a different blood type as me... MY blood type will CHANGE to the DONOR'S blood type!  How wild is that!


Q: How likely is it that I will match a patient and go on to donate?
A: On average, one in every 540 members of Be The Match Registry in the United States will go on to donate bone marrow or peripheral blood stem cells (PBSC) to a patient. Because of the vast variation in tissue types, we can't predict an individual registry member's chance of donating to a patient. If you have a relatively common tissue type, you might be one of many who could match a searching patient. If you have an uncommon tissue type, you may never match a patient, or you might be the only one out of more than 9.5 million registry members who can save a person's life. Every person who joins the registry gives patients more hope of finding the match they need. The most important thing you can do as a registry member is to stay informed and committed so that if you're selected as the best donor, you're ready to move forward.

Excerpt from www.marrow.org
http://marrow.org/Registry_Members/Donation/Donation_FAQs.aspx#match


So finding a match is like finding a needle in a haystack.


Q: What happens if I match a patient?
A: More testing will be done to see if you are the best possible match for the patient. We may ask for another cheek swab or blood sample or we may be able to use a stored sample. Though almost all patient information is confidential, we can tell you the patient's age, gender and disease.
If the patient's doctor selects you as the best donor for the patient, we will schedule an information session so you can learn more about the donation process, risks and side effects. At that time, we can also tell you the type of donation the patient's doctor has requested — either bone marrow or cells collected from the blood, (PBSC) donation.

Excerpt from www.marrow.org
http://marrow.org/Registry_Members/Donation/Donation_FAQs.aspx#match


Q: Who pays for the donation process?
A: Donors never pay for donating, and are never paid to donate.

All medical costs for the donation procedure are covered by the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP), which operates the Be The Match Registry, or by the patient's medical insurance, as are travel expenses and other non-medical costs. The only costs to the donor might be time taken off from work.

Excerpt from www.marrow.org
http://marrow.org/Registry_Members/Donation/Donation_FAQs.aspx#match

Chemo: Cycle 12... & Bone Marrow Transplant Consult

Last Tuesday I had chemo session #12 (of 16)... the neuropathy in my fingers and toes is definitely difficult to deal with.  It's like the outer shell (the skin) is numb, but the nerves underneath are super sensitive, especially my toes, my toes are definitely more severe.  Even my cat rubbing his face on my toes sends out an explosion of tiny little electrical pulses.  My fingers... I have trouble picking things up, trying to go through paperwork, turning pages, I drop things a lot.


Back at the end of May I had the Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) consultation, I was given a lot of information and they took a lot of blood.  I found out that I will be hospitalized for a month and then have to live over there near the hospital for three months, we live about an hour from the hospital but that is too far away, I could die before we got there if I got sick or had a complication. I will need 24 hour care. The insurance doesn't cover the expenses for this. We will have to come up with the money for housing and my mom is going to have to live over there with me and be my caregiver/nurse.  They sent tests out to my brother and sister to see if they might be a match.  *The kits are swabs for your checks.* 

I found out last Friday... neither one was a match. :(  *bummer*

They are going to check the national registry to see if they can find a match, she said she would call early this week.  You can wait for weeks, months, sometimes years before a match is found.

If you are interested in becoming a donor, please go to www.bethematch.org and register, they will send you a kit in the mail, you swab your cheeks and send the swabs back.  You must be between the ages of 18 and 60 to donate.  If for some reason you don't qualify to donate, please consider making a financial donation.  It helps cover the costs for others to donate.

For information, questions, facts & myths... go here:

http://marrow.org/Join/Join_the_Registry.aspx

If you are interested in donating to my Lymphoma Fund for uncovered costs associated with my bone marrow transplant, there is a link on the top right column of this blog.  It is through PayPal, but you do not need a PayPal account to donate, just put in the amount and go down to where it says "Don't have a PayPal account?" and click on "Continue".  Any amount would be most appreciated.

My biggest concern is how to pay for housing for the 3 months I will need to spend over there.  They have a place, similar to the Ronald McDonald House, they try to make it as affordable as possible, we might be able to get into that if they have space available. We may have to get a motel room or see if we can find a furnished apartment.  We won't know until we find a match and then see what's available.

Radio Flyer Wagon Car... Awesome!

Very awesome... I want one!!

TV Guide's "Our Favorite TV Nerds" - Fringe's Walter Bishop

Love the show, love the character, love this guy!!  John Noble is excellent as Walter Bishop.

He's got the highest amount of "thumbs up", way more than any of the other 19 characters. You go John... er... I mean Walter!


http://www.tvguide.com/PhotoGallery/Favorite-TV-Nerds-1037861

PET Scan, CT Scan & Results

Monday afternoon on the 5th, I received a message from the cancer center... I needed to come in for a B-12 shot a week before my first chemo, "...so we're canceling your chemo tomorrow and just come in for the shot".

Uhhh??  This will be my 6th chemo and I've never had to get a B-12 shot before?? Umm... **complete confusion**

So I call the cancer center, get voicemail (of course), and leave a message.  "Your message was a bit erratic, this is my 6th chemo not my 1st, very confused, please call back asap."  While I'm waiting for a call back I deduce that my doctor has probably decided to switch me to a different chemo for some reason and failed to include me in the decision.  Slightly irritated, feeling like she again is not giving it enough time, but assuming she has a good reason.

I finally received a call back, the nurse didn't realize I had no idea... decided it may be a note for a second line of defense just in case and told me she would double check with the doctor and call me back.

That's exactly what it was... my doctor was waiting for the results of my scans and wanted to have other medicine ready if the scans weren't good.  Unfortunately, they couldn't get me in for scans as quickly as before and was set up for the same day as my chemo.

Soooo, Tuesday, Mar. 6th, I went in for my PET scan followed by a CT scan then over to the cancer center for the B-12 shot (in case I needed to switch chemo's).  A consultation was set up for Thur., Mar. 8th for scan results.


Thursday, March 8, 2012:  Scan Results

PET scan showed that the area under my armpit was not glowing, the cancer is inactive.  So it seems the radiation did it's job.  There is still a mass there, hopefully it will continue to shrink.

The front chest area is glowing more than it was at the last scan in November.  That has grown a bit more.  There was no radiation done in that area.

The lump we recently found on my left leg was not glowing.  We don't know how long the lump has been there, so it could be one of two things:

• it was active and the chemo is working, or
• it is just forming and not yet active

The active cancer that was peppering the bone marrow in my pelvic area... it is no longer glowing, it has become inactive.  There has been no radiation in that area either... so that only means one thing... the chemo appears to be working.

This is fantastic news... but let's keep it realistic, it may not mean as much as it sounds.  Remember, I did CHOP chemotherapy last spring, when I was done the scans showed the cancer inactive.  I appeared to be in remission.  Two weeks later I had a lump growing in my arm and roughly six weeks after, the mass under my arm grew back.  When we did the scan it showed the cancer was back and had spread to other places... and it was becoming more aggressive.

This does mean that since it appears to be working I may now be able to get the bone marrow transplant.  (I recently found out you have to be in a certain amount of remission before you will be considered for a BMT) My doctor decided to keep me on the same chemo I've been taking and has already put a call in to UNC and Duke about the bone marrow transplant.  Then I set up my chemo for the following day and had my bloodwork done.

So it's mixed news... high hopes for the best with a smidge of reality for good measure.

Chemo: Cycle 5...

I had my 5th cycle of chemo on Feb. 14th, Valentines Day...  It went well, I got hooked up to the meds then sat back with my mocha and listened to a podcast of "Alcatraz" by Jorge Garcia and Bethany Shady (Sidekick22), you can also listen and follow at Diego's Soul Patch.

If you didn't know, Jorge played Hugo (Hurley) on "LOST" and is currently playing Dr. Diego Soto (Doc) on "Alcatraz".  Bethany is Jorge's girlfriend and partner for the podcast... they had also done a podcast for "LOST" when that was going on... that's where I got hooked.  **In case you decide it's better late than never... Geronimo Jack's Beard: A Lost Podcast.**

Chemo: Cycle 4... or 2-2?

I was having a severe pain in my left uterine area around January 19th/20th, it was only when I needed to urinate, but no pain during urination or anything, and after I urinated it was gone. It felt like my uterus was being pulled out or falling out or something. It was so severe I could barely walk. It lasted about 2 days or so. Just plain weird!

On the day of my chemo, Jan. 24th, I was having pain behind my left ear, the left side of my head, and little in my left shoulder… I was afraid I may have a blood clot. The P.A. and I decided to just wait and watch since none of it made any real sense. It wasn’t like I had a cold or sinus infection, just another weird situation. The pain moved to the right side a few days later and then disappeared.

Chemo went well… no incident.

Friday, Jan. 27th, I woke up that afternoon coughing and pain in my right lung area. By evening I was running a temperature. At 8:45 pm my temp was 101.1°, I called the on-call doctor. She put me on antibiotics, said it might be pneumonia. I didn’t think it was because the cough was not a cold kind of cough and I hadn’t been sick. You don’t wake up with pneumonia, you build up to it. But this diagnosis was with limited info and over the phone. Anyways… by 11:30 pm my temp was 101.5°… at 1:00 am it was 101.6°.

Saturday I started taking Percocet w/Acetaminophen for the pain and trying to get temp down. I was also packing my head in ice. The pain was in my right lung/chest area and extending up to my shoulder and neck area. I was in so much pain I couldn’t sleep.

By the weekend of Feb. 4th, the pain wasn’t as bad and I had this poking feeling in my throat/esophagus area and a coarseness that was causing the cough. It took me awhile but finally realized it was a yeast infection in my throat… also developed a vaginal yeast infection… all from the horrible antibiotics. So I started taking the Fluconazole (Diflucan) I had left over from December antibiotic yeast outbreak and Monistat 3 (went thru 2 boxes of it). Still couldn’t rid my body of all the yeast. On Friday, Feb. 10th, I called my doctor and got another prescription of Fluconazole, this one was 150 mg tablets instead of the 100 mg. I took one Friday night and meant to take another one on Saturday, but forgot to… regardless, the one was enough to finish eliminating the yeast. THANK GOD!!!!

So now I’m yeast free, cough free, and pain free… except for the uterine pain I’m having again when I have to urinate. What the hell!??? I can't get a break!

My Oncologist, Dr. Lola Olajide: Rex on Call - Breast Cancer

Here is my oncologist... Dr. Lola Olajide, Rex Hematology Oncology Associates (Rex Cancer Center).

Apple's Shame

I don't buy into Apple... I don't do iPods, iPhones, iPads, Mac, or iTunes.  I don't use them, I don't buy them, never cared to have them.  There has always been something about Apple's stuff that I just didn't like.  The same feeling I had about AOL.  Just this gut feeling about how they do business.

If this kind of stuff bothers you, then quit supporting it... QUIT buying the products!  Apple is going to deny knowing anything about it, but you should know who you are doing business with... ignorance is no excuse.  Besides... everybody knows that businesses take their business overseas because it's cheaper... and we ALL know why it's cheaper... it's because the workers are being abused and taken advantage of.

Investigations Reveal Long Trail of Abuses at Apple Suppliers
Jan 27, 2012 4:45 AM EST

Recent reports, including The New York Times’ gripping series, shed new light on the abusive treatment of workers at the tech giant’s Chinese suppliers.                   

(Page 1 of 2)

Millions of people who have never been to China carry a piece of Longhua in their pocket. The city in the southern province of Hainan is home to one of several plants run by Foxconn Technology Group, a company that has gotten attention as the manufacturer in whose facilities poorly paid Chinese workers make iPhones and Dell computers, among other hot tech items.

This is hardly the first time reports of abuse have emerged from the closely guarded secret of Apple’s supply line. But in recent weeks, investigations, including a shocking series from The New York Times, have brought the slow-simmering waters of public opinion to a boil as they reveal the lives of the Chinese workers who labor at low cost and high risk to produce the ever-sleeker, ever-slimmer devices for which the world clamors.

1. Long Hours, Low Pay

A year before the debut of the iPhone, a British newspaper drew attention to allegations of abuse of workers at the Foxconn plant, reporting that 200,000 of the manufacturer’s workers clocked 15-hour days and were paid $50 a month to make iPods. The news grabbed attention on Mac blogs, causing the company to say that it would investigate the alleged abuses. “Apple is committed to ensuring that working conditions in our supply chain are safe, workers are treated with respect and dignity, and manufacturing processes are environmentally responsible,” Apple said in a statement at the time.

2. A Raid, A Suicide

It was a nightmare come true for Sun Danyong, a product manager in one of Foxconn’s Apple units. A prototype in his care, one of 18 beta N90 iPhones, was missing. As the Nanfang Daily reported, Sun grew increasingly upset, texting his girlfriend and another friend as he tried to find the device. The 25-year-old ran out of time and luck when Foxconn security came knocking at his door, looking for the missing iPhone. The next day, Sun killed himself by jumping out the window of his 12th-floor apartment.

3. Password Protected

An expansive industrial city, complete with sleeping quarters, cafeterias, and even banks and a post office, all locked up behind a security edifice that included metal detectors and fingerprint recognition. That’s what reporters found when they visited the Foxconn plant in Longhua in 2010. Trucks came and went, dumping raw materials and lumbering out laden with haute technology. While working on the article, a Reuters reporter found out firsthand what happens when one draws the unwanted attention of Foxconn security. While taking pictures outside a plant in the nearby city of Guanlan, the reporter was grabbed, kicked, and threatened by guards.

4. In Response to Suicides, Nets and a Pledge

A spate of nine worker suicides in three months, including that of a 19-year-old worker, at the Shenzhen Foxconn plant led to an incredible reaction among management at the manufacturer in May 2010. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, higher-ups asked workers to sign a suicide pledge, a promise not to kill themselves. As if heights were the only means available to workers ready to end their lives to escape the grueling hours and claustrophobic conditions that employees described to reporters, the company organized “roof patrols,” and hung nets from the sides of the building.

5. Apple Responds to Suicides

After the 10th employee plunged to his death, the Foxconn suicides made headlines in May 2010. Apple and other Foxconn customers issued statements, and said they would conduct their own investigations into the incidents. “We are saddened and upset by the recent suicides at Foxconn,” Apple said, saying it was in touch with Foxconn management and “we believe that they are taking this matter very seriously.” In a somewhat bizarre bid to show that they had matters in hand, Foxconn management led reporters on a tour of its Longhua location, pointing out that it would drape more nets from the dormitories where it billets its workers.

6. Techies Take Issue

The Foxconn controversy lurched into the collective consciousness of Apple’s iFanatics when a Gizmodo editor took to the pages of Wired early last year to describe what he found on a tour of the Shenzhen plant. “It’s hard not to look at the nets,” he wrote, describing the still-hanging suicide precautions that flapped morbidly around the campus. “They drape every precipice, steel poles jutting out 20 feet above the sidewalk, loosely tangled like volleyball nets in winter.” He was struck most by the sheer size of the Foxconn facility, which he wrote his guides were quick to compare to a “college campus.” Their assurances did little to assuage Joel Johnson’s guilt. After he left, the technophile found himself still asking, “When 17 people take their lives, I ask myself, did I in my desire hurt them? Even just a little?”

7. Apple Finds Children and Chemicals

Apple revealed in a report released last year that it had found 91 children working at various points along its supply line in 2010, nine times more than it found in a similar self-study a year earlier. There were reportedly underage youth working at 10 facilities that manufactured Apple products. The company’s report also acknowledged that 137 workers at an Apple supplier had been poisoned by n-hexane, a chemical that can cause extreme nervous-system damage after overexposure. N-hexane was reportedly used to clean iPhone screens.

Jobs’s conversation killer of a response? “Those jobs aren’t coming back.”

8. Four Dead in Explosion

Foxconn’s Chengdu location, said by experts to be one of the sites where iPads are produced, was wracked by an explosion in May of last year, killing four workers and injuring 18. Chengdu city officials were first to comment on the incident, and said that the blast originated with “combustible dust” in a polishing shop. The explosion led to a partial shutdown of the plant, as experts estimated the delay could cut production of iPad2s by 500,000 units in the second quarter.

9. A Real Jobs Zinger

Out-of-work Americans received some startling news via their New York Times iPhone app last Sunday. Played large and loud in front-page pixels was an account of how President Barack Obama had asked the late Steve Jobs what it would take to bring Apple’s manufacturing arms back to the United States. Jobs’s conversation killer of a response? “Those jobs aren’t coming back.” As the Times detailed, Apple has 20,000 workers abroad and 43,000 on American shores—but an additional 700,000 foreign workers are hired by Apple contractors to actually make the company’s blockbuster products.

10. The iPrice Tag

Drawing on years of reports, incidents, and material, The New York Times conducted an investigation published Thursday that pulled back the shroud of secrecy beneath which Apple’s suppliers had long operated. Former Apple executives told reporters that there’s little incentive for the company to endure the time and cost of finding alternate suppliers—and even if they went looking, there aren’t many that could handle orders of the scale Apple demands. “We’re trying really hard to make things better,” a former executive told the Times. “But most people would still be really disturbed if they saw where their iPhone comes from.”

Like The Daily Beast on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for updates all day long.

Matthew DeLuca is a reporter and researcher for Newsweek/The Daily Beast. He has written for New York’s Daily News and The Boston Globe, among other publications. He was the editor of Boston College's independent student newspaper, The Heights.

For inquiries, please contact The Daily Beast at editorial@thedailybeast.com.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/27/investigations-reveal-long-trail-of-abuses-at-apple-suppliers.html

Arnold & Stallone... funny bumping into you here!

This cracked me up... also made me feel old.

Click on photo to enlarge.

Chemo: Cycle 3... or 1-2?

I started that new chemo again --- the one geared towards my type of Lymphoma --- on Jan. 3rd, my birthday. It went okay; mom couldn’t go in with me, it’s that time of year when colds and flu are abound so no friends or family are allowed in the chemo rooms. She won’t be able to go in until April… so I get kind of bored sitting in there by myself.

I'm not sure if this counts as Chemo Cycle 3 or Cycle 1-2.

On the way home from chemo mom’s truck broke down. The radiator blew. It was about 35° out and I didn’t have a coat. We had to sit and wait for AAA to show up and for my sister to come pick us up. I was supposed to be having a special birthday dinner and the family was coming, but since the chemo took longer than expected and then the break-down, we wouldn’t have enough time to make the dinner without it running really late. So we opted to stop for Chinese take-out instead.

Cancer Post: Thanksgiving - Hospital Update

Some of you already know that last Thanksgiving I was in the hospital again. I was one week away from my third treatment of this new chemo. The masses under my armpit blew up real big, plus I had inflammation and swelling of my breast. I couldn’t even put my arm down; it was sticking out from my body in a weird position because of all the swelling. The nerves in my arm became impinged and the back of my arm is still numb, possibly permanently. My right breast was almost three times its normal size, burning hot and red as can be. I had to pack down in ice for days.

I was doing laundry on Monday afternoon, Nov. 21st, and I was trying to open the bleach bottle, but the bottle slipped across the dryer away from me and my arm jerked trying to stop it. It hurt really bad… so much I was swearing. I put some ice on it in case I pulled something and within 2 hours it had swelled quite a bit. I kept ice on it while I slept that night, but when I woke up I couldn’t feel the back of my arm and the swelling was much worse. I called the Cancer Center and went down for them to check me out. I was admitted on Tuesday, November 22nd, but the breast swelling didn’t happen until Thanksgiving morning. They decided it was too dangerous to do surgery because of the blood vessels and nerves involved, so Wednesday they gave me radiation to the area.

Thanksgiving morning the on-call doctor woke me up and quickly ran through my case, I asked him for a hydrochlorothiazide and a furosemide pill (Water pill/Lasik) since I had some swelling and they had me on a sodium drip (to which I am sensitive to and causes me to swell), he denied me one of my Lasik’s. I explained I had to take them together because just one or the other didn’t have an effect on me, that’s why I was prescribed both of them… and I only take them as needed. He refused stating he thought it was causing my elevated sugar level… “Funny, I haven’t had any for several weeks, guess THAT can’t be the cause.” But of course, he’s the doctor… that went to school… he couldn’t be wrong… and of course would never admit to being wrong. Yes, he was one of THOSE doctors!

Around 10:30 am I was eating my breakfast when I leaned forward and my breast pressed against my leg, it was very painful. I looked down my gown, saw how big it was, how red it was, felt how hot it was, and the area around the nipple was rock hard. It scared the hell out of me and I started to cry… I thought for sure the cancer had moved into my breast. I called my nurse because I didn’t know what else to do… asked him to please come as soon as possible. After I explained and showed him, he put in a call for the on-call doctor to stop in. I waited for a little while and when he did show up… he didn’t come past the entryway, asked me what the problem seemed to be, I was a little taken aback because he didn’t come in or over to me and the way he questioned me… so I stood up and raised my gown. He said that’s probably just “something-something-or-other” and left. I was in such shock I don’t remember what he said… he never came in, never examined the breast, and didn’t even bother to explain the “something-something-or-other”. I was so upset and couldn’t stop crying.

The nurse that came in later that evening took care of it like the doctor should have… she examined the breast, marked the redness pattern with a marker so we could gauge if it was expanding or going away, then started packing me in ice. The next day the doctor came in, with a nurse for his protection; evidently word got out about what happened and that a friend of mine had called the hospital until she got hold of someone in charge who then came to see me about the situation. He lied outright about the situation, denying everything. I started to get upset because he was so lying and when I started to cry I decided that’s enough. I told him I wasn’t going to let him upset me again and I wanted him to leave my room immediately. I told him I wanted to be discharged after my radiation because I felt I was not getting the care I needed and I would rather go home and take care of myself. So I basically kicked him out of my room.

I had my radiation, was preparing to leave when my nurse came in with a prescription for antibiotics and pain killers. I thought, these are the antibiotics I was on when my breast swelled up and became inflamed… obviously they weren’t doing the job. So I had my nurse call the doctor and inquire about a different antibiotic… he denied my request. Oh, big surprise. **When I saw someone on Monday at the Cancer Center, one of the first questions I was asked was who and why had I been sent home with those antibiotics… then I was told to quit taking them and was prescribed something else… THANK YOU! Looks like I’m not so dumb am I!**

I went home, kept myself packed in ice, took my meds, took my lasiks which got rid of A LOT of fluids built up in my system, and the following Monday, Nov. 28th – Dec. 13th did daily radiation treatments, except on weekends.

Pic by Caressa...

I am planning to do an update blog entry as soon as I get a chance.  Got lots to update about the cancer stuff.  Until then here's a picture my niece Caressa colored for me...