Cancer Recurrence: Update

Okay, I left off at waiting for the results of my biopsy...

I saw my oncologist for results, discussion and treatment plan.  It is the same lymphoma that I've had... which is good news because we aren't dealing with a new "second" form of cancer.  My doctor thinks I should do localized radiation.

Wait!  What?!

When I first saw him he said we would probably need to do chemotherapy... not the harsh CHOP version like I had before, but a milder form and that I "may not even lose my hair".  I told him I thought I should do chemotherapy.  He gave me this analogy of "not destroying the whole neighborhood because of one bad neighbor".  But my whole neighborhood is messed up... yes, we need to destroy the whole neighborhood... because it's not only under my armpit, but also still on my arm.  I have several bumps/lesions on my arm.  Also, if it has spread anywhere else but has not yet presented itself large enough for the scan to pick up, then chemo will treat those areas as well.  Not that I want to do chemo.. it just sounds like the more logical thing to do in this situation.  Plus, I felt it in my gut, so to speak.  I felt like God was screaming in my head to speak up... we need to do chemo!  He disagreed and wanted me to see the radiation doctor.  The doctor would take a look and decide if it was viable for me to do radiation.  I guess from the size, position, and whatnot... the doctor may decide that radiation may not be the best course of action.  So I agreed to see him.

On January 18th I saw Dr. Anderson.  I was told to come in 1/2 hour early... what for, I do not know, since I sat in the waiting room the entire time.  Then I sat in an office for 20 minutes... like I have nothing better to do.  I understand when you wait in the afternoon, sometimes they get backed up.  This was first thing in the morning... first appointment.  I felt like giving him an invoice for the time I missed from work!

*rant over*

Anyways, he checked me out, I listened to what he had to say, I told him what I thought, he understood why I felt the way I did and couldn't disagree with my reasoning.  He called Dr. Z and, this is where it starts getting bizarre, Dr. Z was going to call a specialist with UNC to discuss my case and the possibility of Chemotherapy Replacement.  "This doctor will explain it all but you probably won't want to go this route." 

Anyways, I was curious to find out about this "Chemotherapy Replacement".  A week went by and I didn't hear anything. 

**Began wondering whether Dr. Z was having a tantrum because I questioned him or because I voiced my opinion.**

I called and left a message, nothing.  So I called Dr. Anderson, 'cause he told me to if I didn't hear something.  They hadn't heard anything either.  The nurse called over and then let me know that they were finishing up processing the paperwork for my Bomary transplant and I should hear about an appointment by the following Monday.  So I'm getting set up for this appointment and get a call that my insurance won't cover a Bomary transplant and I could appeal the decision but I need to get it started right away.  So I say, "What the heck is a Bomary transplant?"  She says, slowly and distinctly, "Bone Marrow Transplant".  Dead silence on my end... Bone marrow transplant?  Yes, the particular chemotherapy I would be doing would warrant me needing a bone marrow transplant.  More silence... then I said, "I don't understand... a bone marrow transplant?  How did we get from a simple radiation that 'should melt it like butter' to bone marrow transplant?"  Which confused her.  So I explained what had transpired... initial visit, light chemotherapy... after testing visit, radiation... I disagreed but saw radiation doctor, I voiced my opinion, he called Dr. Z and now we're at bone marrow transplant.  She agreed that it didn't make sense.  I told her to make an appointment for me to see Dr. Z so we could discuss what was transpiring.  She said that he was going to be out of the office for awhile so let me set you up with someone else in the practice.  At this point, I'm thinking he intentionally went way over to the other end of the spectrum to force me to do what he wants... radiation.  **So now I'm thinking, "Is he really not available or has he decided not to see me anymore because I questioned him? I've been seeing him since 2005... how immature and childish"**

So she made me an appointment to see Dr. Olajide, but she wasn't available until February 15th.  I really didn't want to wait another two weeks but what was I to do.  By the time I see this doctor, it'll be almost 2 months since my PET scan.

I had my appointment on Tuesday.  She looked over my file and checked me out thoroughly, she thinks the mass under my armpit has grown closer to my breast area.  I also have a cyst-like mass on the back of my right arm.  She said that I need to do chemotherapy, CHOP, like I did before... the harsh stuff where I lost all my hair, made me real tired and made my bones ache.  I also need to do a bone marrow biopsy!  My lymphoma was indolent (slow-moving), but is moving faster now that it's in my lymph system.  A bone marrow biopsy will give her more information and she'll better gauge the extent and duration of chemo that I will need.


Wednesday, February 23rd - Bone Marrow Biopsy
Wednesday, March 2nd - Results/Discussion/Treatment Plan


I also stopped in at the Financial Aid office while I was down there.  Hopefully I qualify for some assistance.  I owe around $15,000.00 already.  And with the real estate market the way it is, I'll be lucky if I break even on my house, that is, IF I ever find a buyer.  The realtor wanted to list it at a price that would have had me coming to the table with $2000.00... I don't have $2000.  In better days I would have walked away with about $10,000., now I'm hoping and praying for $5000.  Most likely I won't see anything.  I was depending on that money to pay some of these medical bills.  Ain't life grand!

I keep praying for God to send me a buyer with a reasonable offer.


~~ By the way, I was told on Tuesday that Dr. Z took a medical leave of absence. ~~

Cat Doors Galore

My dad, bless his heart, got two pieces of plexiglass and glued them together to put a cat door in so they could have an exit out my bedroom window.  I didn't want to use a piece of wood and block my whole window.

He also cut a hole in my bedroom door for me so I could put one in so I didn't have to play doorman for my cats... now I can sleep with my door closed.

And check this out... finally tolerating each other. The gray one is my mom's cat, Apollo (we tend to call him Pillow most the time); the black & white is my Simon.

CH-Ch-Ch-Changes!

December 17th & 18th I moved in with mom & dad... have to sell my house.  Actually for two reasons now...

1. Because I'm not earning quite what I used to before I was laid off from my last job and I was scrimping then.
2. To be shared soon... a recent situation I've decided to blog through.

Been trying to adjust to my new living quarters... my cats are trying to adjust too, they're not used to anyone but me being around.  They're skittish around other people... skittish is putting it mildly.  They usually beat it out the cat door if anyone came to the door... or if they heard a vehicle pull in the driveway.

Simon is doing remarkably well, seems to be asserting himself with the "natives" (mom's cats).  There have been a few squabbles.  Missy is still pretty much hiding in my room, mostly under the covers.

Well, got to get to bed... one more day and then it's a three-day weekend!

Today Was A Good Day

My Air Conditioning Crisis:

The AC guy came about 9:30 am and it took roughly 2 hours for him to do what he needed to do to replace that part.  (The doo-hickey part is a TXV Valve)  He said he was certain this would fix the problem.  I wanted to believe... but was afraid to trust.  I had struggled so much the last four weeks that I couldn't believe it was finally going to be over.

I left the house about 2 pm.  The temperature had dropped from 86 to 80 degrees.  The humidity had dropped from 55% to 52%.  I set the thermostat to 76 degrees.  When I returned home at 8:30 pm... it was 76 degrees and there was no ice buildup.  WOOHOO!!!

After suffering in upper 80 and 90 degrees temps in here... 76 feels pretty darn cold!


On The Job Front:

I received a call on Tuesday from an employer I sent my resume to.  We had an initial interview over the phone.  She said she received approximately 500 resumes, out of those she decided which ones would get initial phone interviews.  I was one of the chosen ones... out of 500! If I make the cut from the phone interview, then I would be FedEx'd a packet with information and an application.  From those it would be decided who will get, I believe she said, video conference.  Then, from those, individuals would be chosen for a face to face interview.  I was so excited and nervous that I can't remember exactly. The home office is in Massachussetts, she would fly down for those interviews.

Well guess what came today?!!  I GOT A FEDEX PACKET!!!  Yea me!

I'm going to get it filled out and sent back immediately.  So say a prayer and keep your fingers crossed.

Welcome To My World... I'm In Hell!

I came home tonight... it was about 9 pm.  I opened the door to an oven. It was like walking into Hades.  The thermostat needle was buried, I couldn't even see it.  I checked the thermometer in my bedroom/office and it said 96 degrees.

This is now week 4 since I started having problems with my central air conditioning.  Still haven't figured out what the problem is... although we think we may have found the answer, hopefully.  It's a part he had to special order, he expedited the order and is supposed to be in around 10 am tomorrow.  I need prayers... lots and lots of prayers... that this is it.  It's supposed to stay in the 90's all the way through Sunday!

It doesn't blow very cold, it freezes up, I turn it off to thaw, after it runs so long it only blows 'just barely cool' air so it isn't sufficient in cooling the house down very much.  So I've developed a strategy.  Although Missy and I SUFFER through the day, I wait until about 7 or 8 pm when the outside temp starts coming down, then I open the windows and put the box fans in.  This brings the temp inside down to the low 80's, it takes a few hours.  Then after midnight when the temp is more manageable, I close up the windows and put the air on.  That way it has a better chance of cooling it off a little bit to the upper 70's.

Here's some pics of the unit frozen up.

Slightly Frozen

(see that piece in the middle... that's the doo-hickey)

Major Freezing... look how thick the ice is!

These are the filters.

At first he thought it was a piece in the outside unit that was recalled or something because it wasn't working right... the part would be replaced free, but the work to get to it and make the new piece fit wouldn't be.  It was expected to run about $500.00.  So before he went to that extreme he wanted to try a few things first... which meant dragging this hell out further than anticipated.  I don't know all the technical stuff, but this part he changed out first was what allows the freon to run through to where it's supposed to.  Mine looked pretty rough and he wasn't getting good pressure readings, so it looked like it could be the culprit.  NOT!

Then he was going to try replacing the motherboard, then a doo-hickey on the inside unit that regulates the freon in there.  That was last week.  By Friday I was trying to get hold of him to tell him to do both, I can't take dragging this out any longer.  I had a feeling it was the inside doo-hickey and wanted that replaced first.  Well when he showed up this morning he tells me that he thinks it's that doo-hickey thing too and he talked to his dad (whom he took over the business from) and his dad feels pretty sure it's the doo-hickey thing too.  That's the part he just expedited... it's a $100 part.

So I'm saying a prayer and keeping my fingers crossed!  Besides, I'm tired of eating cereal all the time 'cause it's too hot in here to cook.

Here's Missy trying to stay as cool as possible.  I've been worried about her in this heat.  She's got all that fur.  I've got the ceiling fans on high and I've pointed a box fan towards her sleeping spot on the desk.

Her sprawl cracks me up.  There's a ceiling fan right above her.

Here's a pic of some weeds I picked... they were cute weeds.  Looked like tiny mini-daisies.

Here's Missy on the file cabinet.

And here I have the fan over her sleeping spot on the desk.

Here's the flower arrangement I did to replace the pretty weeds.

Winter Storm

This is what it was like about 4 days ago... Missy and Simon sharing a chair on the deck.

THEN...

We had a nice little winter storm blow through last night and today.  When I got up I went out and measured the accumulation... 7" at my house.  Missy tried to go out and landed in snow about as tall as her.  Talk about an about face and back through her door.  *LOL*  Simon didn't even bother to make an attempt.  I took some pics... through my windows.

My Back Deck

The Main Road (Hwy 96)

Birdfeeders In Backyard

My Car In The Driveway

My Street (and neighbors house)

You can barely see some tracks on the road.

My Front Steps

The Subdivision Entrance From Hwy 96

Missy checking things out from her new found vantage point.

Simon decided to spend the day napping on his chair.

And a side note... It was one year ago that I got laid off, January 30th, 2009 was my last day of work.  I'm still looking... still applying... still waiting!

Oh Joy...! (+) Tom Delay On "Dancing W/The Stars".

Okay, this "gift" was more than expected! *Thank you my sweet baby kitty... which ever one it was.* I found it yesterday behind my bathroom door in front of the shower. I thought I'd share it since I know how you all love that sort of thing. *LOL*

Love the close-up? ;) That is a rat, isn't it? I've never seen a real live wild rat. I think that's what it is.



Monday I was mowing the lawn and hit an ant hill... those red biting ants. I got bit up pretty good all around my ankles. It was pretty nasty, had to break out the witch hazel, now I have all these ugly scabs!

Nathan came walking by shortly after I started mowing and pretty much finished it up... it started getting dark, so there was a section I finished up the next day. Thank you, Nathan... that was a big help and I very much appreciate it. He said he remembered moving me in... that, I believe, was the first time I met him. At that time I really didn't know him... he was just one of my niece's friends that came to help. I didn't get to know him until later.

~ ~ ~ More Cat Pics ~ ~ ~

This is Jack trying to fit his big butt into the casserole dish basket.

He's not that photogenic, he always looks so perturbed and irritated.

Missy in her chair that sits beside mine. She loves it when I twirl the chair in circles.

Here she is on the bathroom floor. I love the way she sprawls. It's pretty funny and so darn cute! That's her "I'm hot!" position. Sometimes she lays right over the vent. (The first pic is a little blurry.)

In case you missed it!

I don't watch "Dancing With The Stars" but I wanted to see how Tom Delay did and if he had a chance in heck of staying for awhile. So here you go... the second dance was more suited for his age, but I couldn't find it as a stand alone on YouTube.




You can see the second dance here... it's a version that is obviously edited but if you want to wait out the beginning you can see a clip of the second dance.

I Love My Cats, I Love My Cats, I Love My Cats...

...but sometimes they just really take me there.

Having lived with cats my whole life, I have become accustomed to the "gifts" they drag in. The rabbits, mice, chipmunks, and birds... dead and alive. But I have to say... the "new gifts" and the consistancy that I've been dealing with it this past year, I don't know whether to laugh, yell, or cry. There is usually a lot of hmphing, groaning and eye rolling!

Missy Bug (how appropriate that name turned out to be) is the biggest culprit. She is constantly bringing in bugs of all sorts. The worst one... ohhh... was this big bug, I could hear it coming way before I knew she was bringing it. I could hear this noise... and this hissing... I didn't know what it was or where it was coming from. I was like, "What is that?", "What is that?" My head was up, kind of cocked, listening. Was it on tv, was it outside, what the heck is that?

Then she appears and drops it near me... this huge bug with what looked like pinchers at it's mouth. It was fighting back and hissing soooo loud! She tried to get hold of it again but it was biting or pinching her. I had to get a jar and chase it around a bit to capture it and take it outside. Not the highlight of my night!

Since then I have had multitudes of bugs, moths, lizards, and frogs. Specifically these little mini frogs, I thought they were just babies but they never seem to grow up. They are always that same small size. I'm finding them eveywhere, usually dead and dried up. I'm constantly vacuuming them up. Aaauuugh! And now these grasshopper looking things, but they are shorter, stouter, and very bright green with these strong wings.

Yesterday I saw a lump on the floor and thought, "What now?" It was a lump of clay. She had brought in a clay ball from under the deck. Guess that's what she was chasing all over the living room.

Tonight, oh tonight, never expected this... I heard her under the table playing with something. *eyes roll* Missy! I turned the overhead light on and I see something slim and stretched out... moving. Good Lord, she brought in an EARTHWORM! Have you ever known a cat to bring in an earthworm. I don't know what I'm gonna do with her! Thank heavens fall and winter is coming... hopefully I can get a little break from all this. I'm half afraid she's gonna drag a snake in next!

Missy Bug a year ago.

She has the softest, silkiest fur. And her fuzzy little paws... I adore it when she wraps them around my feet or ankles, it's so sweet. I want to hug and sqeeze and cuddle her all the time... but she absolutely HATES to be held. She squirms and fights and growls so loud you think she's gonna turn on you in a flash. But she doesn't... she's just a noise maker. I hug her and kiss her and love her all up, then I make a big production of letting her go. That way she knows she didn't have to struggle to get away, I let her go. She's a stray I took in from the wild when she was about 2 months old, so she has some issues. Before she would take off and put some distance between us. She wouldn't let me near for a little while. Now, I love her up and set her down... she'll look at me for a few then come over and curl up between my feet.

She still has issues with visitors but it's getting better. If someone walked up to the house or God forbid, came inside, she was out the cat door, across the yard, and under the neighbor's fence in a flash. She wouldn't come back for hours, and when she did, she would only come as far as the bush next to the fence. I would have to go out and coax her to me so I could catch her and carry her in (struggling and growling the whole way) to show her that is was now safe. Now she races into the guest room to hide under the bed or into my room under the dresser. If the visitor sits down and remains relatively still and quiet, she'll come out to visit... keeping her distance, of course. Only once did she come out and act relatively normal, sitting in the open and coming close. That was with my friend Pat. I used to work with him and once in awhile he stops in for a visit. She felt comfortable enough with him. He's a cat lover too and understands the situation. He doesn't go flitting about making loud noises or quick movements. My nephew, CJ, has done pretty good also. He sat still while she came in from outside and made her way into my bedroom.

Missy & Jack

Missy



Missy & Simon On The Deck

Simon On The Deck

Missy & Simon - Nap Mates





Three Of My Favorite Baby Missy Pics

She was so little.

Jackson