Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Cancer Update: 12/12/12


I know it's been awhile... so here we go!

Back in October, actually October 2nd, I went for my last chemo session for this round on Brentuximab... after this session we would do some scans and determine if I appeared in remission or if we should continue with the chemo.  The neuropathy in my fingers and toes were pretty bad; so my doctor talked me into not having the chemo that day, we would do a PET scan to determine if the cancer was still active and then decide if I could stop the chemo altogether or if we needed to just delay it, giving more time between sessions and giving my nerves a chance to recuperate.

She said she never had to talk a patient OUT of doing chemo before… I was concerned about the cancer coming back again.  When I finished the round of CHOP last year and was “declared” as “appears to be in remission”, it was two weeks and the cancer on my arm had reappeared, then a few weeks after that it appeared in the lymph node under my right arm again… also spreading into my chest area and into my bone marrow in the pelvic area.  So I had reason to be wary.

We were preparing for the PET scan when we were notified that Medicaid denied the request!  I received a letter from the panel of their decision by certified mail… we had to sign for it!  Unbelievable!!  This NEVER happened before… I had been on Medicaid for six months and had just been renewed on Sept 11th.  Evidently part of the change was the beginning implementations of Obamacare, such as the setting up of the “panels”.   So I guess Republicans were not wrong…  

 [A little background… last year my cancer had progressed and took a pretty bad turn in November.  In December I applied for Social Security Disability and Medicaid.  Up until this point I had been getting help through the hospital’s financial aid services, I lost my insurance when I was laid off in July 2011.  I was approved for SSD in January and approved for Medicaid in February.  My Medicaid deductible is $5400.00 every six months… so it’s kind of like having insurance.  Very expensive insurance… especially for someone on Disability.]

 So, my PET scan had been denied.  They informed us that we could do a CT scan.  We didn’t need a CT scan.  We needed a PET scan because the PET scan lights up the active cancer.  We were looking to see if the CANCER WAS ACTIVE so we could determine if I still needed the chemo or if I could take a break!  Since we didn’t have much choice, we did the CT.  It showed two irregularities, or nodules, or something… one in each side of my lung.  Slightly concerning… but not immensely. [When I was first diagnosed in 2004, the scans showed some nodules, one in each lung.  The doctors there assumed it was lung cancer and immediately put me at stage 4 and started CHOP chemo.  I had one dose and then moved here to NC; the doctor here stopped it immediately and said there hadn’t been enough testing.  It was determined to possibly be scar tissue from when I had a severe case of pneumonia in 1991.]  I thought maybe this is what was showing up this time also, my doctor doesn’t agree.  She says the scan I had earlier this year did not show this.  So now we’re up in the air… is it infection from a cold, was it the scar tissue and just a fluke that it didn’t show up in the last scan, or is it cancer that has traveled to my lungs??  Which would be WAY BAD!

Then I received another letter from the panel (certified mail, of course)… they also denied the physical therapy my doctor prescribed for the neuropathy.  WOW!!  I began to wonder if I was ever going to get approval from Medicaid for anything ever again.  I really felt as if I was getting left to die.  This was becoming unreal.

When I saw the P.A. on Nov 5th, there was discussion of symptoms coming back and I was informed that we were going to wait until January and do another CT, since Medicaid would not authorize the PET.  I was highly upset!  I had been off chemo since September… my symptoms were coming back in full force, the difficulty in breathing, shortness of breath, the wheezing, the pains, etc.  I told her I thought it was very much like playing with fire!  I have symptoms coming back, a possibility of it being in my lungs… and we’re gonna wait another couple of months??  Are you serious?  I’d hate to wait until January, do the scan, and then find out, SHIT, if only we scanned sooner, now it’s too late!  If only we had caught this sooner!  I mean REALLY?!  I DID NOT GET THAT AT ALL!  The P.A. told me she understood and went out to talk to the doctor.  It was decided that we would do the PET scan, but through the hospital financial aid services.  I thought, “Thank God!”  I believe it was the very next day that I received a voice message telling me that the doctor had changed her mind and that she didn’t want to see me until January.  I was shocked!!  I was dumbfounded!!  I was speechless!  After the initial shock wore off I became upset, angry, severely pissed off… HOW DARE THEY JEOPARDIZE MY LIFE!!  I wanted to cry, but I was so angry… I wanted to go down there and demand the scan; I was going to tell her that if we wait and the cancer spreads while they do nothing, then I was going to sue her freakin’ ass!!!  I was so upset and so angry that I ended up shutting down.  I couldn’t call, I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth.  I didn’t want to go running down there in fear of creating a major disturbance and having security called.  I contemplated getting a second opinion, and I thought about finding a new doctor.  But I adore my P.A.

I shut down for about two weeks… then I had something appear on my back.  This was taken on November 29, 2012.  *In some of the photos I marked some things that looked suspicious to me, they appear to be growing as well as it all progresses. They're just little bitty baby ones right now.
 
 
 
 
 
Okay, let’s back up a bit.  Right before I saw the P.A. back on Nov 5th, I had what appeared to be some kind of bite, like a huge mosquito or bug bite on my right arm.  Didn’t think much of it so didn’t mention it.  But now it had become perfectly circular, it was very pink and had a red line around the circumference that was a little indented.  In a way it looked like a burn, kind of like from a car lighter.  At one point, after a shower, the top layer of skin came off and it REALLY looked like a burn.  Very strange.  Wasn’t sure if it was cancer. 
 
Didn't photograph the first stage of the arm thing, the big bug bite stage, then it started to look like this.
 
 
 
Then, a few days later, after the shower it looked like this.
 
 
 
 
 
Then this thing popped out on my back.  This was the day before Thanksgiving.  I had an appointment with the P.A. on Dec 4th for Labs & Exam, figured I’d call and bump it up, then figured at this late time there probably wouldn’t be any openings.  So I called my family doctor.  She thought the one on my back looked like an infection, so she put me on antibiotics to clear it up.  I told her that mom removed a tick last year from approximately the same place, so she had blood work done also for Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, just in case.  Well, the antibiotics didn’t affect the one on my back at all, but the one on my arm started clearing up.  At this point I don’t know if it was the antibiotics, or it just running it’s course.  On Nov 29th I had mom take some photos of the one on my back… SOON AS I SAW IT I KNEW… I knew it was cancer!
 
 
Here it is on December 1, 2012
 
 
 
 
 
Here it is on December 10, 2012
 
 
 
 
 
  
 I saw the doctor on Dec 4th, told her I was fairly certain it was cancer.  She looked at it and agreed.  She said she also feels swollen nodes on the left side of my chest/arm area.  Said we needed another CT and a PET scan.  Just found out Monday that Medicaid approved the scans, thank God!  My PET scan is on Thursday and the CT is Friday.  I see the doctor on Monday, Dec 17th for the results and game plan. Still feeling uncertain about my doctor… feel a little betrayed and definitely feel that trust has been broken.  Will definitely need radiation, which I think we need to be moving a little faster on.  It has already grown substantially and I’ve found several new ones breaking out, they’re still tiny, but coming along just as fast.  We keep taking pictures every few nights to track the progress.  It is EXTREMELY fascinating to see it like this… my camera phone is AWESOME!!  Some really great high-def photos.  The little ones we couldn’t see with our eyes, we wouldn’t have known if we hadn’t taken the photos.  Then when I used the magnifier on them... WHOA!!!
 
You have to admit... it is a little fascinating, isn't it!?!

So that’s what’s been happening and where I’m at!  In the middle of all this right before and during Christmas… AGAIN!  Well, look at it this way… if the Mayan’s are correct and the world ends on 12/21… at least I won’t die from cancer and I won’t have to do this crap anymore!  Oh, that reminds me, I have a dental cleaning on 12/21… got to have clean teeth for the end of the world!  Flash those pearly whites!  :D


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Cancer Update: BMT, Chemo, Neuropathy


Photo by Anne STA ~ 
Still no news on the bone marrow transplant, they are looking for a match.

On September 11th I had my 15th session of chemo.  Was supposed to have one more on October 2nd, but they are considering extending it a little longer.  With my neuropathy getting worse little by little, they are also considering either putting more weeks between sessions or maybe stopping for a bit to see if it subsides, then continuing.

I haven't talked with the doctor yet, but after this last session, the neuropathy took a big jump.  It is really bad in my fingers, and not just the fingertip area, it has gone down to the second joint.  I have a lot of trouble feeling things, the nerves are super sensitive, and I get bad pains zapping through.  I don't use the computer much 'cause typing makes my finger pads start to hurt like they are smashed and bloody.  My toes sometimes feel like they are hanging off like a loose tooth that needs pulled.  The feeling is so real and a bit disconcerting... I have to actually look at them and check to make sure they're not.  I'm concerned that most, if not all, of this neuropathy may be permanent.

I have been dealing with the discomfort and pain during the day by trying to keep my mind busy and concentrating on other things.  I try to do what I'm able to and I watch alot of movies, news, tv shows.  It's the night time that gets you... as you try to settle down to sleep and there isn't anything to busy your mind.  Then you really feel the pains.  Sometimes you want to cry, sometimes you feel like screaming because of the constant, neverending, relentless buzzing, zapping, shooting pains.  My toes are so sensitive the sheets feel like razors or glass shards being dragged across them.  My doctor gave me neurontin (gabapentin), but I had bad cramping with it.  She then gave me percocet (endocet 5-325), which has been working for me at night.  I take one tablet about two hours before bed.  Sometimes I want to take two pills, but I know this drug can be addictive and can cause liver damage... so I don't.  She has recently gotten me authorized for Lyrica, hoping that I wouldn't have the cramping with this... but I'm too scared to take it... the possible side effects and warnings are awful.  Suicidal thoughts, becoming aggressive, swelling of the mouth, tongue, lips, difficulty breathing.  **Yeah, not winning me over.**

Maybe I'll buck up and try it tomorrow.

I was also told to take magnesium, so I added that, plus some other vitamins and whatnot.  Magnesium, Super B-Complex, Zinc, Align Probiotics, E & C, and a vitamin blend for people who take acid reducer pills such as Prevacid, Prilosec, etc.  One of them or a combination of one or two is causing me severe cramping and diarrhea.  I've had to stop taking them and tomorrow night I'm going to start adding them one at a time to weed out the culprit(s).

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

VA Earthquake Felt In Wake Forest, NC

Did anyone else feel that one?  When it rumbled through, mom and I were eating a late lunch and I was on the phone with my sister, Laura.  I said something I won't repeat but was, "What the **** was that?"  Our house was shaking and felt like the whole house was actually moving.  It shook pretty good, scared the heck out of both of us.

Crazy thoughts were running through my mind... did a plane or vehicle hit the house, was a twister coming through, what was happening?? Mom says, "That felt like an earthquake!"

Laura said it was probably just the guys tearing up the road in front of her house, which is just a few houses down from us.  I didn't think it was... not movement like this. But her house didn't shake, she hadn't witnessed what we did.

Then my sister called back and told us she heard there was a quake in VA.

That's pretty confusing and real scary when you have never been through an earthquake and live in area that is not known for them.  You stand still because it happens so fast and you don't know what to do because you don't know what is causing it.  You're just waiting for something to show itself so you know how to react.

Wow, what an experience... not something I'll likely forget.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Big News... New Job... Starts Wednesday!

Since I haven't posted in awhile... let me catch you up.  I didn't get that job I blogged about earlier... the 500 resumes, phone interview, application packet, video interview.  I was disappointed.  Anyways...

I had an interview last Monday... actually a presentation with five of us interviewees, then one-on-one interviews.  There were three men and two women.  The company is looking to hire a couple of individuals.  We were referred by a temp/staffing agency.  I called the agency Friday, but no decision had been made.

This morning I got the call... Can you start Wednesday?  Less than I was previously making, but a little more than the "I hope to make at least" figure.  And it's not way downtown Raleigh... it's in Northern Raleigh... which makes for an easier commute from how far out I am.  Just take Capital down to 540, short run to Six Forks exit, then a hop, skip, and a jump down the road.

I must admit... I immediately had a small anxiety attack.  It's been 18 months since I got laid off.  It took 15 months to get even one interview.  That does a number on you psychologically.  I feel really out of the loop professionally. Plus, it's a MUCH bigger company in a bigger city than I'm used to.  I'm not sure if I have the right wardrobe... the small companies and type of companies I've worked for had very casual dress requirements (casual/jeans/sweats/shorts).  This place is business casual... I have no idea what I'm gonna wear!

My sister Laura, my friend Danette, and I went to the "Red Lemon" (DQ) to celebrate.  Danette bought me a cone... thank you Danette.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Casting Out Demons

I was reading my friend Beth's blog post this morning... and it was a wake-up call for me. Somehow I let a demon into my house and it's been opening the door for it's buddies.

Usually, when I sense their presence, I cast them out immediately. Many times I have been attacked, although usually in an immediate struggle.  A few times it has been a physical attack. The feeling of being held down, like someone is pushing you down or sitting on top of you... for anyone that has gone through this, you know how terrifying and overwhelming it is. The feeling of powerlessness (is that a word?).

This one snuck in slowly and quietly, then took over, almost as if it bound me before I knew it. It's like I didn't even put up a fight... like I didn't know I needed to fight or something.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I was blinded to it.  Through my friend Beth, the Lord opened my eyes and my heart which allowed me to be freed from these bindings. She named it and brought it out into the light, it was like a slap in the face.  Duh!  I already feel the sensation of a burden being lifted.

So, please, all my friends and family, say a prayer for me and keep me in your prayers. I believe I will need help with this bunch of deviant demons. Fear, dread, doom, depression, doubt... just to name a few. Causing me to want to retreat and hide from the world, almost isolating myself.

Thank you, Beth, for allowing the Lord to work through you.  And thank you, Lord, for being so persistant and continuing to knock, no pound, on this thick head of mine to be heard.  *lol*

Love and blessings to all on this beautiful Monday morning!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And.... It's A Snake!

I'm a little late getting this post up... oh well. Been tired lately, by 8:30 PM I can hardly keep my eyes open. This is so not like me. I'm the night owl of the family. Always have been. I keep drifting off while I watch tv, and napping that late left me up most the night afterwards. So I quit letting myself drift off, forced myself to stay awake and went to bed about 11:30 PM (which is usually really early for me). Problem is... I wake up at 6:00 in the morning, then by 10 AM I'm ready for a nap. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!

So here I am, 9:30 PM and trying to keep myself from falling asleep.

Okay... the thing I am late blogging about! Sunday night I was laying in bed, half asleep, watching tv when I heard a bit of a commotion by my bedroom door. Simon and Missy were playing or something... well so I thought! Come to realize they were kinda fightin' over something! When I saw it I was hoping to god it was just a big worm... NOPE!

It was a snake! A baby snake, but a snake none-the-less! They finally went and did it! They dragged a snake in through the cat door. I've been dreading this moment! What a wake-up! My blood was pumping now! I grabbed a jar; one of those short squat jars you get minced garlic in, so my hand had to get pretty close and I was waiting for it to jump at me. Slowly I put the jar over it as I fought the cats off. I was trying to keep the cats from knocking the jar over, and at the same time, trying to figure how to get the jar flipped over with the snake on the inside. So I gruffly yelled and stomped at the cats scaring them off temporarily while I ran to the kitchen to get a spatula. Perfect! Mission accomplished.

It was shell pink or soft coral pinkish color on the underbelly. Light brownish/coral pinkish color on the top. Never saw anything like it before as far as snakes go.

Then I made the trek out across the back yard, in the dark, in my nightgown, carrying my jar with the snake in it. I took the top off and dumped the contents into the wooded field... hoping it went into the wild and not in the direction of my house. Lordy, lordy!

Okay, ya'll can stop laughing now!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Political Indoctrination

This is just down right creepy and disturbing! If this doesn't make your blood run cold, then there is something wrong with you. This kind of "conditioning" in a public school is dangerous!

Not convinced. Let's just look at the other side for a minute... what if you saw a video from school children praising Bush like this? Yeah... we ALL know what would happen!

The second point is... we can't speak, sing, or pray in school as Christians, but we can teach political praises and idealogical viewpoints of one side.

This is brain-washing, it's indoctrination.

From a Christian standpoint... this is coming extremely close to worshipping a false idol. Obama is becoming the golden calf! God will have something to say about this... and we WILL pay dearly.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I HATE Spiders...

Especially the big ones... ewwwww! *shudder*

Here is a couple videos I came across... freaky, but funny! I don't know why he just didn't kill the darn things!












They are similar to this huge spider at my mom's house, although this one is curled up and dead.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Breathing A Sigh Of Relief...

It's been a stressful week... I found out, as I was leaving work last Friday, that the company I work for is out of money and I wouldn't be getting paid this week. Kept me in panic mode all weekend. I had a heaviness in the center of my chest, I was breathing heavy like I was constantly out of breath. I was nauseous.

All these things that needed to be done were swirling around in my head so fast. I was in such a panic that I couldn't figure out what to do first. I ended up standing still, majorly overwhelmed. I eventually gave it over to God, because it was pretty much out of my hands, why should I be stressing this hard over something I couldn't do anything about. It's hard to do when you're in the middle of that kind of panic.

When I went to see the doctor for my radiation follow-up Tuesday, my blood pressure was 177. Not good! It's never been that high.

I'm happy to report that last night before I left I was informed that we were getting some money from the investors. So I will get paid... might be a few days later, but I will get paid. Whew! Thank you, Lord.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Radiation Update 2

I have one more radiation treatment to go... it was supposed to be Monday morning, but they told me I could come Sunday morning instead. I really don't care to get up that early Sunday morning but for a chance to NOT have to drive down with the crazy Monday morning commuters... I couldn't pass it up. ~~rant warning~~ [We have had wet foggy mornings most of this week... I am appalled at the number of drivers that don't have their lights on! ID10Ts! I wish I could have a license to go around and bop them over the head with a big stick! Or smack them on the forehead like those V8 commercials. Maybe it would knock some sense into them! No wonder there were so many accidents. I-D-I-O-T-S!!]

Great suprise! My dad works out of state, so he's only in town for an extended weekend every few weeks; upon occasion, months. He just came in for the Christmas break, he's going to go down with me and then we're going out for breakfast. Yeaaa! That'll be nice.

Another great surprise... I didn't burn from the radiation like they thought I would. I must be one tough bird! LOL

I was told that the radiation would continue to work (stay in my body) for 10 days to 2 weeks. I have a follow-up appointment on January 12th. If the lump still hasn't completely gone away, they will possibly cut the rest out. They can't radiate it anymore; at this time, I have had the limit that can be done safely. I do have my qualms about cutting... I have heard too many people say that once you start cutting, it starts spreading. My doctor said it was nonsense... I'm still not so sure. I gotta tell ya... I am really concerned about it.

It looks like I will be getting some time off from work this Christmas. In the past, we try to wrap everything up and shut down for two weeks between Christmas and New Years. This year it looks to be from December 24th thru January 4th. We have a couple of late closings we couldn't get in this week, so there's one Monday and one Tuesday. May have one or two closings the following week, so I may have to come in for those... won't have to make a day of it, just an hour or two. It will suck to drive for 45 minutes for an hour or two... but these are the adjustments we must make. They don't have to close the office down and I would have to work that whole week. So I'm willing to make those adjustments for 12 days off (w/ pay) with a minor hiccup or two. I'm grateful to have that time off and I'm grateful I haven't gotten laid off... not yet anyways. LOL

Monday, December 8, 2008

I finally broke down...

Ok Laura, I finally broke down and bought a bra... since I received a $25.00 off coupon in my email, I decided I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Don't want to be at work and have it bust wide open... that wouldn't be a pretty sight!

I just got done eating peanut butter & jelly on toast for lunch. I was gonna go to Subway and get a sub, but decided at this point I needed the bra more. The phones are barely ringing and our heat is out, so Ron and I are sitting here in the quiet and COLD. If the HVAC company doesn't get here soon, we're going to close up early. According to my little digital temperature thingy... it's 66 degrees in here; cool yes, but not as bad as expected. Not much lower than I've been keeping it at home to keep the electric bill down.

Had my radiation session this morning. Hit an unexpected traffic jam just before Crabtree Valley Mall, made me 8 minutes late for my appointment. But I did get a nice surprise this morning. The technician I had last spring was there this morning... Matt. He's such a sweet personable guy. I wondered where he was last week and thought maybe he had changed schedules or something. Matt & Martha... great people! They make the horrid trip down worthwhile.

Well, must get back to work. Oooo... tonight it's my 'Get LOST Again' night. Four hours of LOST on SciFi channel.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Excuse Me, Your Cart Is Ringing...

Last night I had to stop at Wal-Mart to pick a few things up. When I got home, I turned to grab my purse and immediately noticed my cell phone was missing. OH CRAP!!! That's the only phone I have since I had my home phone disconnected to save money. I really don't need THIS!

I took the groceries in and got a flashlight to search my car, hoping and praying that it had just fallen out onto the floor or under the seat. No luck. Oh man! Crap, crap, crap! I know the last time I saw it was at Wal-Mart when I checked the time. So either I lost it somewhere or someone lifted it from my purse pocket.

So I got in the car and drove to my mom's house. Told her I needed her help... and her phone. I took the house phone and called my number to see if I could hear the ringing in my car... you know, to definitely rule that out. No ringing.

Then we go down to Wal-Mart with mom's cell phone. I stopped where I had been parked and tried calling again... no ringing heard. So I went inside to where the carts were lined up... tried calling again while intently listening for the ringing. Nothing.

I couldn't remember what register I had been at so I just started asking every cashier in the general area I had been. Not there. I went to customer service... no one had turned one in. So I tried calling again to see if I could hear it.

Whoa! Someone answered!

He said he was trying to call back "mom". I asked him where he was, he said by the produce aisle near register 1. I told him I was at Wal-Mart, what was he dressed as? LOL, I don't know why I stated it like that. He said he was wearing a brown jacket. I practically ran over to produce, saw him immediately. Thank you, Lord!

He said he kept hearing a ringing, then some lady told him it was his cell phone that was ringing. He said he didn't have a cell phone. That's when they saw it in the cart. Excuse me, your cart is ringing! LOL

I thanked him profusely! I was lucky a nice guy like him got my cart.

Another God-Thing!!!

Thank you, mom, for dashing out at a moments notice at 9:00 PM to rush down to Wal-Mart for another "Shelly Crisis". I very much appreciate it!

Monday, October 27, 2008

One More Thing To Be Concerned About...

Watchdog Group Presses for Obama Donor List

Monday, October 27, 2008 10:59 AM
By: Dave Eberhart

Judicial Watch contends that the Obama campaign continues to stonewall on listing its many donors, a step that would go a long way toward clearing up whether the Democratic presidential candidate is accepting unlawful contributions from overseas.

Sen. Barack Obama has raised about $3.3 million from contributors who did not list a home state or who designated their state with an abbreviation that did not match one of the 50 states or U.S. territories, The Associated Press reported, citing records from the Federal Election Commission.

The $3.3 million total does not include donors who have given less than $200 and whose contributions do not have to be itemized. Some of that money also could have come from overseas. About half of Obama's $455 million in contributions so far are un-itemized.

The campaign does not identify those donors, the AP report said.

Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton said, “While the evidence suggests illegal foreign contributions are flooding into Obama's campaign coffers, we have no idea as to the extent of the problem because Senator Obama refuses to divulge the names of all of his donors.”

Fitton said that, when Obama campaign spokesman David Axelrod was asked about the decision to keep these donor names secret, he replied, “We’re probably more forthcoming about disclosure than anyone.”

But the president of the watchdog group countered: “Not true. While John McCain has had problems of his own for allegedly accepting foreign donations, to his credit, Senator McCain does publish the names of all donors to his presidential campaign on his Internet site, regardless of the size of the contribution.”

Fitton said he believes that the Obama campaign appears to be playing fast and loose with campaign finance laws, and he said it has to stop.

The FEC should investigate these allegations immediately, and the Obama campaign should publicly list the source of every single campaign contribution, Fitton said.

“Frankly, it is suspicious that these names have not already been made public,” he said. “There is something deeply unsettling about the fact that foreign nationals can so easily corrupt our presidential election through illegal contributions, while American service men and women stationed overseas may be deprived of the opportunity to even vote.”


VOTERS BEWARE!

Concern Over Voter Fraud

I have been concerned about voter fraud, especially with all that has been uncovered... particularly what has been proven in Ohio. Individuals have registered AND VOTED illegally. Those so-called measures to screen and stop events like this from happening have proven to be ineffective. This article below only deepens the fear of what many of us believe to be happening.


Hillary Backers Decry Massive Obama Vote Fraud

Monday, October 27, 2008 10:45 AM
By: Kenneth R. Timmerman


With accusations of voter registration fraud swirling as early voting begins in many states, some Hillary Clinton supporters are saying: “I told you so.”

Already in Iowa, the Obama campaign was breaking the rules, busing in supporters from neighboring states to vote illegally in the first contest in the primaries and physically intimidating Hillary supporters, they say.

Obama’s surprisingly strong win in Iowa, which defied all the polls, propelled his upstart candidacy to front-runner status. But Lynette Long, a Hillary supporter from Bethesda, Md., who has a long and respected academic career, believes Obama’s victory in Iowa and in 12 other caucus states was no miracle. “It was fraud,” she told Newsmax.

Long has spent several months studying the caucus and primary results.

“After studying the procedures and results from all 14 caucus states, interviewing dozens of witnesses, and reviewing hundreds of personal stories, my conclusion is that the Obama campaign willfully and intentionally defrauded the American public by systematically undermining the caucus process,” she said.

In Hawaii, for example, the caucus organizers ran out of ballots, so Obama operatives created more from Post-its and scraps of paper and dumped them into ice cream buckets. “The caucuses ended up with more ballots than participants, a sure sign of voter fraud,” Long said.

In Nevada, Obama supporters upturned a wheelchair-bound woman who wanted to caucus for Hillary, flushed Clinton ballots down the toilets, and told union members they could vote only if their names were on the list of Obama supporters.

In Texas, more than 2,000 Clinton and Edwards supporters filed complaints with the state Democratic Party because of the massive fraud. The party acknowledged that the Obama campaign’s actions “amount to criminal violations” and ordered them to be reported to state and federal law enforcement, but nothing happened.

In caucus after caucus, Obama bused in supporters from out of state, intimidated elderly voters and women, and stole election packets so Hillary supporters couldn’t vote. Thanks to these and other strong-arm tactics, Obama won victories in all but one of the caucuses, even in states such as Maine where Hillary had been leading by double digits in the polls.

Obama’s win in the caucuses, which were smaller events than the primaries and were run by the party, not the states, gave him the margin of victory he needed to win a razor-thin majority in the delegate count going into the Democratic National Convention.

Without these caucus wins, which Long and others claim were based on fraud, Clinton would be the Democrats’ nominee running against John McCain.

Citing a detailed report on the voting results and delegate accounts by accountant Piniel Cronin, “there were only four pledged delegates between Hillary and Obama once you discount caucus fraud,” Long said.

Long has compiled many of these eyewitness reports from the 14 caucus states in a 98-page, single-spaced report and in an interactive Web site: www.caucusanalysis.org.

ACORN involvement

The Obama campaign recently admitted that it paid an affiliate of ACORN, the controversial community organizer that Obama represented in Chicago, more than $832,000 for “voter turnout” work during the primaries. The campaign initially claimed the money had been spent on “staging, sound and light” and “advance work.”

State and federal law enforcement in 11 states are investigating allegations of voter registration fraud against the Obama campaign. ACORN workers repeatedly registered voters in the name of “Mickey Mouse,” and registered the entire starting lineup of the Dallas Cowboys twice: once in Nevada, and again in Minnesota.

A group that has worked with ACORN in the past registered a dead goldfish under the name “Princess Nudelman” in Illinois. When reporters informed Beth Nudelman, a Democrat, that her former pet was a registered voter, she said, “This person is a dead fish."

ACORN was known for its “intimidation tactics,” said independent scholar Stanley Kurtz, a senior fellow with the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington, D.C., who has researched Obama’s long-standing ties to the group.

Fully 30 percent of 1.3 million new voters ACORN claims to have registered this year are believed to be illegitimate.

Long shared with Newsmax some of the emails and sworn affidavits she received from Hillary supporters who witnessed first-hand the thuggish tactics employed by Obama campaign operatives in Iowa and elsewhere.

Jeff, a precinct captain for Clinton from Davenport, Iowa, thought his caucus was in the bag for his candidate, until just minutes before the voting actually began.

“From 6-6:30 p.m., it appeared as I had expected. Young, old males, females, Hispanics, whites, gay and lesbian friends arriving. Very heavily for Ms. Clinton, a fair amount for Edwards and some stragglers for Obama,” he said.

That makeup corresponded to what he had witnessed from many precinct walks he had made through local neighborhoods.

“My mind began to feel victory for my lady,’ he said. “THEN: at 6:50 p.m., over 75 people of African-American descent came walking in, passed the tables and sat in the Obama section. I knew one of them from my canvassing. I knew another one who did not live in this precinct. And aside from four or five families that live on Hillandale Road, there are no other black people in this unusually white precinct. And one of those black couples were in my Hillary section,” he said.

Thanks to the last-minute influx of unknown Obama supporters, Obama won twice the number of delegates from the precinct as Hillary Clinton.

After it was over, “a very large bus was seen in the parking lot afterwards carrying these folks back” to Illinois, Jeff said.

Obama’s flagrant busing of out-of-state caucus participants from Illinois was so obvious that even Joe Biden — today his running mate, then his rival — pointed it out at the time.

At a campaign stop before the Jan. 3 caucus at the JJ Diner in Des Moines, Biden “said what we were all thinking when he got on stage and said, ‘Hello Iowa!’ and then turned to Barack’s crowd and shouted, ‘and Hello Chicago!’” another precinct captain for Hillary told Long.

Thanks to Illinois campaign workers bused across the border into Iowa, all the precincts in eastern Iowa went for Obama, guaranteeing his win in the caucuses, Long said.

Obama supporters were also bused into northeast Iowa from Omaha, Nebraska, where Obama campaign workers were seen handing out “i-pods and free stuff: T-shirts, clothes, shoes, and free meals” to students and people in homeless shelters,” according to eyewitness reports Long collected.

In Iowa City, red and white chartered buses with Illinois license plates arrived from Illinois packed with boisterous African-American high school students, who came to caucus for Obama in Iowa after being recruited by Obama campaign workers.

2,000 complaints in Texas

In a change in the Democratic National Committee rules for this year’s election season, four states had caucuses and primaries: Washington, Nebraska, Idaho, and Texas. “But Texas is the only one that counted both the caucus result and the primary result,” Long told Newsmax. “The others didn’t count the primary at all, calling it a ‘beauty contest.’”

Because caucuses are more informal, and can last hours, they tend to favor candidates with a strong ground operation or whose supporters use strong-arm tactics to intimidate their rivals.

“There is inherent voter disenfranchisement in the caucuses,” Long said. “Women are less likely to go to caucuses than men, because they don’t like the public nature of the caucus. The elderly are less likely to go to a caucus. People who work shifts can’t go if they work the night shift. And parents with young children can’t go out for four hours on a week night. All these people are traditionally Clinton supporters,” she said.

But Obama’s victories in the caucuses weren’t the result of better organization, Long insists. “It was fraud.”

In state after state, Hillary was leading Obama in the polls right up until the last minute, when Obama won a landslide victory in the caucuses.

The discrepancies between the polls and the caucus results were stunning, Long told Newsmax. The most flagrant example was Minnesota. A Minnesota Public Radio/Humphrey Institute poll just one week before the Feb. 5 caucus gave Hillary a 7-point lead over Obama, 40-33.

But when the Minnesota caucus results were counted, Obama won by a landslide, with 66.39 percent to just 32.23 percent for Hillary, giving him 48 delegates, compared with 24 for Clinton.

“No poll is that far off,” Long told Newsmax.

Similar disparities occurred in 13 of 14 caucus states.

In Colorado and Idaho, Obama had a 2-point edge over Hillary Clinton in the polls, but won by more than 2-1 in the caucuses, sweeping most delegates.

In Kansas, Hillary had a slight edge over Obama in the polls, but Obama won 74 percent of the votes in the caucus and most of the delegates. In nearly every state, he bested the pre-caucus polls by anywhere from 12 percent to more than 30 percent.

This year’s primary rules for the Democrats favored the caucus states over the primary states.

“Caucus states made up only 1.1 million (3 percent) of all Democratic votes, but selected 626 (15 percent) of the delegates,” says Gigi Gaston, a filmmaker who has made a documentary on the caucus fraud.

In Texas alone, she says, there were more than 2,000 complaints from Hillary Clinton and John Edwards supporters of Obama’s strong-arm tactics.

One Hillary supporter, who appears in Gaston’s new film, “We Will Not Be Silenced,” says she received death threats from Obama supporters after they saw her address in an online video she made to document fraud during the Texas caucus. “People called me a whore and a skank,” she said.

John Siegel, El Paso Area Captain for Hillary, said, “Some people saw outright cheating. Other people just saw strong-arm tactics. I saw fraud.”

Another woman, who was not identified in the film, described the sign-in process. “You’re supposed to sign your names on these sheets. The sheets are supposed to be controlled, and passed out — this is kind of how you maintain order. None of that was done. The sheets were just flying all over the place. You could put in your own names. You could add your own sheets or anything. It was just filled with fraud.”

Other witnesses described how Obama supporters went through the crowds at the caucus telling Hillary supporters they could go home because their votes had been counted, when in fact no vote count had yet taken place.

“I couldn’t believe this was happening,” one woman said in the film. “I thought this only happened in Third World countries.”

On election day in Texas, Clinton campaign lawyer Lyn Utrecht issued a news release that the national media widely ignored.

“The campaign legal hot line has been flooded with calls containing specific accusations of irregularities and voter intimidation against the Obama campaign,” she wrote. “This activity is undemocratic, probably illegal, and reflects a wanton disregard for the caucus process.”

She identified 18 separate precincts where Obama operatives had removed voting packets before the Clinton voters could arrive, despite a written warning from the state party not to remove them.

The hot line also received numerous calls during the day that “the Obama campaign has taken over caucus sites and locked the doors, excluding Clinton campaign supporters from participating in the caucus,” she wrote.

“There are numerous instances of Obama supporters filing out precinct convention sign-in sheets during the day and submitting them as completed vote totals at caucus. This is expressly against the rules,” she added.

But no one seemed to care.

Despite Clinton’s three-and-a-half point win in the Texas primary — 50.87 percent to 47.39 percent —Obama beat her in the caucus the same day by 56 to 43.7 percent, giving him a 38-to-29 advantage in delegates.

Linda Hayes investigated the results at the precinct level in three state Senate districts. Under the rules of the Texas Democratic Party, participants in the caucuses had to reside in the precinct where they were caucusing, and had to have voted in the Democratic primary that same day.

When she began to see the results coming in from the precincts that were wildly at variance with the primary results, “I could see that something was wrong,” Hayes said.

Hayes says she found numerous anomalies as she went through the precinct sign-in sheets.

“Many, many, many Obama people either came to the wrong precinct, they did not sign in properly, they did not show ID, or they did not vote that day.” And yet, their votes were counted.
In a letter to Rep. Lois Capps, a Clinton supporter calling himself “Pacific John,” described the fraud he had witnessed during the caucuses.

“On election night in El Paso, it became obvious that the Obama field campaign was designed to steal caucuses. Prior to that, it was impossible for me to imagine the level of attempted fraud and disruption we would see,” he wrote.

“We saw stolen precincts where Obama organizers fabricated counts, made false entries on sign-in sheets, suppressed delegate counts, and suppressed caucus voters. We saw patterns such as missing electronic access code sheets and precinct packets taken before the legal time, like elsewhere in the state. Obama volunteers illegally took convention materials state-wide, with attempts as early as 6:30 am.”

The story of how Obama stole the Democratic Party caucuses — and consequently, the Democratic Party nomination — is important not just because it prefigures potential voter fraud in the Nov. 4 presidential election, which is under way.

It’s important because it fits a pattern that Chicago journalists and a few national and international commentators have noticed in all of the elections Obama has won in his career.

NBC correspondent Martin Fletcher described Obama’s first election victory, for the Illinois state Senate, in a recent commentary that appeared in the London Telegraph.

“Mr. Obama won a seat in the state Senate in 1996 by the unorthodox means of having surrogates successfully challenge the hundreds of nomination signatures that candidates submit. His Democratic rivals, including Alice Palmer, the incumbent, were all disqualified,” Fletcher wrote.

Obama’s election to the U.S. Senate “was even more curious,” conservative columnist Tony Blankley wrote in The Washington Times.

Citing an account that appeared in The Times of London, Blankley described how Obama managed to squeeze out his main Democratic rival, Blair Hull, after divorce papers revealed allegations that Hull had allegedly made a death threat to his former wife.

Then in the general election, “lightning struck again,” Blankley wrote, when his Republican opponent, wealthy businessman Jack Ryan, was forced to withdraw in extremis after his divorce papers revealed details of his sexual life with his former wife.

Just weeks before the election, the Illinois Republican party called on Alan Keyes of Maryland to challenge Obama in the general election. Obama won a landslide victory.

“Mr. Obama’s elections are pregnant with the implications that he has so far gamed every office he has sought by underhanded and sordid means,” Blankley wrote, while “the American media has let these extraordinary events simply pass without significant comment.”

Hillary Clinton supporters, belatedly, now agree.

Obama's "The Change We Need”


For everyone out there supporting and voting for Obama... I hope you are prepared for the CHANGE you get!





http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/27/obamas-higher-purpose-code-for-wealth-redistribution/


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http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/26/obama-in-2001-how-to-bring-about-redistributive-change/






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House Democrats contemplate abolishing 401(k) tax breaks
Mandatory contributions from workers considered

http://www.investmentnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081012/REG/310139971



Thursday, October 23, 2008

McCain vs Obama

"Apparently, as my opponent sees it, there's a strict limit to your earnings and wealth, and it's for politicians to decide. The proper amount of wealth is not what you can earn, but what government will let you keep."

Is this what America is to become... our government saying, "Sorry, you made too much money. I'm taking some of it to give to someone else. It's only fair to them. It's better for the country this way."

NO! It's not! America is about working hard and reaping the benefits of that hard work or risks YOU took to better YOUR financial situation. I want to decide where I want MY money to go! YOU should decide where YOU want YOUR money to go!

I'm not wealthy by any means. I'm struggling. I'm barely getting by. BUT, I'm not giving up, and I'm not sitting back expecting everyone else to carry me by forking over their hard-earned money. I keep plugging along... with the gracious help of my friends and family from time to time.

I would like to think... what I aspire to... is that someday I will be able to better my situation and after all my years of struggle, I should get to keep what I've worked so hard for. I should decide how it gets spent and who I spend it on. Not have it taken from me... Not have the government decide that I've crossed that line and.. oops, earned over my limit.


And while I'm at it....

We get taxed on our income, then that money is taxed again when we use it. What the heck are you people [in government] doing with all our money. It just never seems to be enough for you!

I'm tired of my [tax] money funding things like Planned Parenthood when I believe abortion is murder. I believe homosexuality is a sin, and I don't want my [tax] money funding gay right activism or agendas. I believe the failing liberal public school systems are a joke and I shouldn't have to support it. I believe that is my right and I should have a say about it. Quit spending my hard-earned money for your political agendas!


{Beware, here comes the ranting...}

  • I'd rather have my money spent on such things as investigating welfare and disability fraud and fixing that broken system.
  • Insurance fraud.
  • Do something about lawsuit abuse in this country, frivolous lawsuits are tying up the courts. And why is it that the accused have more rights than the victims?
  • And how the heck doctors and hospitals can get away with charging what they do... $3.00 for an aspirin? (I lost my eyesight at one time and the doctor charged $100. everytime he came in, put a card in my hand and asked me to read it. I'd say I can't see it. He'd leave. He was there for maybe three minutes.) I don't believe in socialized healthcare, but, I think there should be some sort of regulation or caps on some things.
  • What about my rights as a Christian? Anyone can tromp all over my rights without a second thought. (Where's the ACLU in these instances?? - lol - usually defending the people tromping on my rights.)


These are just some of the things that bother me and affect my world.

{End of rant... for now.}

Thursday, October 2, 2008

What's Up With Me?

Well... so far I still have a job. Thank you Lord! Like alot of folks, I've been financially strapped lately. My property tax was increased... which caused my house payment to go up. Then I found out they made an error on my tax statement. It's actually a little over a hundred dollars more. So if I send it in to my mortgage company, it will cause my house payment to increase even more... so basically I have to suck it up and pay it myself. Great!

I had to let my lawn guy go... I could only afford to get a push mower, so it takes me forever to mow my lawn (I've got a pretty good sized lawn). Thankfully it's pretty flat, just a little too big for me to handle with a push mower. So between trying to do the lawn, get rooms painted, get the guest rooms together, cleaning, laundry, organize my finances and my office area... a two day weekend is just not long enough to accomplish everything I need to do. So now you understand why I have a hard time keeping updated with my blogging.

In addition, I cut my cable back and disconnected my house phone. I was expecting to get rid of the cable completely, but when I called in and explained to the rep my situation she took her time and figured out a way I could keep some of the cable with a promotional plan that I think I can swing. I can always cut it later if I still need to.

I'm trying to get the one guest room done and my house in order because I'm gonna have to get a roommate to help make ends meet. I absolutely hate the thought of bringing a stranger into my home... but I guess you do what you have to in times like these. I'm desperately trying to keep hold of this house. I really don't want to become just another foreclosure statistic. Sometimes life just sucks.

More about the roommate thing later... I've got to get to bed. Tomorrow and Friday I'll be packing up the office for the move on Saturday. I don't want to even think about the fiasco this is going to be. Later.

Oh! And on a lighter note... I came home tonight to find bunny fur on my floor. I started to look around for it. I didn't find a body... but I did find the little things cotten tail! Ugh! I'm just praying Simon took it back outside. I really don't want to end up finding it by smell! Aren't cats grand!

Goodnight all!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Huge Freakin' Spider & The Great Chick Escape

For the last few days I've been taking care of my sister's animals while they are at the Grange Fair in PA. Mom goes in the mornings and I have the evenings. Well....

DAY 1 - Thursday Evening:

I fed the cats and the fish, went up to Lacee's room to feed her bird. What a feat that was! Laura, Lacee... my arm is not that small. What were you thinking? I managed to get the food dishes out, but the water thingy... you got to be kidding.

I managed to wedge my arm in far enough to manipulate it somewhat with the tips of my fingers, pushing it out of the holder at an angle, thus spilling the contents all down my arm. Yes, you can imagine how pleased I was at that! Now, my arm is wedged in there, so I'm having difficulty getting it back out... the bird is displeased, I am displeased (to put it nicely), but I finally got it out. I got clean water, filling it to the top knowing that I won't be attempting this part again unless an emergency. I got my arm wedged back in, so afraid the little bars were gonna get all bent out, but I got in there and managed to get the water thingy back in without spilling too much. Unwedged my arm again... put the food dishes back in, then went in the bathroom to wash my hands and arm. Got all scrubbed and as I'm standing there, hands and arm dripping, looking around... there are NO TOWELS! Okay, 'nuff said!

I went out to do the chickens, ducks, and turkeys. I opened the barn door and had a small heart attack! Right there at the entrance is a large can and at the bottom of it is a HUGE FREAKIN' HAIRY-A** SPIDER!! Gave me the freakin' willies! Now I'm not real thrilled to go into the barn... don't know if Mr. HUGE FREAKIN' SPIDER has friends or not. I walk sideways past it... making sure it doesn't move... got the corn, had to put my hand down an opened bag to get the mash! I'm thinkin', "Yeah, right!" Who knows what the heck is in there! So I slowly start inching my fingers down... eyes squinched tight, head turned away (don't know why, don't see how that will help if I did come across something). I guess it's just part of making your body do something it doesn't want to or knows it shouldn't do. Anyways, as I start walking out of the stall I get run over by Mr. HUGE FREAKIN' SPIDER and a wild chicken in hot pursuit! I think she got it... she chased it into the other stall so I didn't see how the pursuit ended, but she had something sticking out her beak. Could've been Mr. HUGE FREAKIN' SPIDER'S legs or maybe something else laying in there. Still, I had to take my shoe off to make sure it hadn't escaped there... you know, the pursuit happened so fast, I really couldn't be sure what I may or may not have seen... I had to be sure, just in case! *shivers*


Day 2 - Friday Evening:

Pretty uneventful.


Day 3 - Saturday Evening:

Everything was going well until I opened the top of the chicks cage... someone had put a small box in the corner and two of the chicks used it to bounce off the top and out of the cage... I managed to stop one chick. OH GREAT!!! Now what am I supposed to do... well Laura, I have a sneaking suspicion of what may have happened to the other babies and mama... Harry may have happened. He was on them like white on rice! He even went after one of the bigger chickens.

I started chasing the chicks (and Harry). Someone had left the TKD pole thing out there, so I used that trying to herd the chicks. After the first failed attempt, I managed to get one back over to the chicken house, it went in the side cubby which I covered with the chair, I went in the door, closing it behind me and trapped the chick in one of the barrel nests. One down, one to go! YEA ME!

The other one was being more difficult... so I enlisted Harry's help. He chased it around, wearing it down... at one point he had hold of the end of it, not a good hold so it got away... but he obviously sees much better than you all thought. He finally chased it into the scrap tubing pile behind the barn. I picked up one coil and saw it wedged beneath stuff... easy pickin's from there! Thanks Harry. It only took about 45 mins to an hour.

Was gonna go to mom's when I was done... but after that, I went home... all sweaty and out of breath! So, Laura, don't be surprised if I'm not all so eager to help out next time.